Drunken Space-Time Ninjutsu
by Igornerd
Summary: The day after a wild party to celebrate the end of the war against Madara, Naruto, the remaining Konoha 12 (and some guests) can't help but wonder what happened last night as they wake up in a different Konoha. Time-Travel. Rated for language, alcohol and just to be sure.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Naruto.**

"Come on, Naruto! One more push!" yelled a feminine voice.

"How come I have to do all the heavy lifting, Sakura? You're the one with the brutish strength!" lamented Naruto as he pushed the sofa from a side of the living room to another.

"BAKA! Do you really think that's something to say to a girl?" shouted Sakura

"Dobe." interrupted another voice, before the pinkette could yell again "Why don't you just use your Kage Bushins? Let them do the manual labor."

Naruto paused, blushing a bright red.

_'Why didn't I think about that?' _he thought.

"**Because you're still a moron.**" said the Fox from his mindscape.

_'Shut up, Kurama!'_

Naruto frowned, pointing an accusing finger against the last living Uchiha.

"Shut up, Teme! Don't talk like that when you've been sitting on the couch I was pushing all along!"

"I agreed to come here, not to help you." said Sasuke in an annoyed tone, his head resting on the couch's cushions.

"You were not forced to come early, you know." muttered the blonde, pouting.

"Yes he was. And he _must_ help." chirped Sakura. "Karin blackmailed him."

"What? Really?" asked Naruto as Sasuke turned his head away from his team-mates.

"Yes, she told me that if he didn't showed himself here before the rest of the gang and actually _helped_ us..." said Sakura, with a conspiratory tone "...he's going to sleep on the couch for a month."

There was a long, tense moment of silence, which was interrupted when Naruto made a whipping sound, complete with a motion to accompany it.

"So, what is gonna be, Sasuke? Are you going to help us, or will you just stay on my sofa to practice in preparation for a long, lonely month?" grinned evily the blond jinchuriki.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke, the last of his clan, former S-rank missing-nin, then prisoner on probation and now restored Konoha's shinobi with the rank of jonin, was mopping the floor of Naruto's living room.

And Sakura was taking pictures with a camera.

He never felt more embarrassed then this in all his life.

"I really regret returning to the village now." he admitted, blushing a little.

"OI! SASUKE! DON'T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" shouted in unison all the clones that were moving pieces of furniture and various furnishings.  
The stereo effect was impressive, even if some of the clones said "Teme" intead of "Sasuke".

The raven-haired boy raised an hand in a placating gesture.  
"Kidding, kidding."

As he said that, Naruto -the real one- was just passing near him, carrying a stack of boxes overflowing with scrolls and books.

"Naruto? What's with all the books?"

Naruto turned around to respond to him.  
"Just a few of Fuuinjustu's scolls and tomes that I inherited from Ero-sennin. And all of his unfinished Icha Icha novels."

Taking one last picture at Sasuke, Sakura glared at Naruto, sending a cold shiver running on his spine.  
"You better not start reading porn in public like Kakashi-sensei, Naruto."

"I-I would never do that! I would only keep them as a reminder of Ero-sennin, I swear!" said Naruto defensively.

"Yeah, right..." muttered Sakura, who started to put in order the kitchen area.

"Nevermind the smut books. Did you found anything good inside the scrolls?" asked Sasuke, getting curious.

"I don't know what they're about. I got them just yesterday, didn't really have the time to study them."

"Just yesterday? Really?"

"Yeah, you know...after Ero-sennin's death..." a sad expression settled on the blond's face as he reminded the fate of the Toad Sage "...I just had not enough time for check if he leaved me something. Pein's invasion, training with Bee, the War, Madara...and what followed."

Sasuke nodded, understanding.  
"I'm sure you'll able to do that now, Naruto."

The blond shinobi smiled and nodded before leaving him alone.

After the end of the Fourth Shinobi War, the hardest part was keeping the Shinobi Alliance alive.  
Without a common enemy their survival, the old rivalries between the Five Great Shinobi Countries and their more wild ninjas menaced to erupt once again.  
It was only thanks to a carefully planned diplomatic gathering of all the leaders of the Alliance, the Kages, the Daymios and Naruto if the peace had lasted. But the draft of an official, fool-proof treaty had taken almost one year, as more small nations and hidden villages asked to join.

Naruto had returned definitively to Konoha just a few days ago.  
Waiting for him, along with his friends and allies, was a shiny new apartment in one of the buildings constructed after Pein's invasion, completely furnished, as a payment for the 'mission' of having ended the war.  
It was a very big apartment.  
With a very big living room. Big enough to put inside it a normal apartment, and still have some space to spare.

To celebrate his return, someone -he didn't know if it was Sakura or Ino, probably both- proposed to throw a giant party.  
And Sasuke had to clean all of it. Without jutsus. Or his 'friends' would tattle to Karin, and he would not have sex for one month.

"Couldn't your teacher just give him a giant pile of money?" he asked to Sakura, annoyed.

"The Council wanted to do that, but it turns out we don't have enough money to do a 'thanks- for-saving-the-world-reward'. So to avoid having to the village going bankrupt, they offered him this. And he accepted."

Sasuke resumed mopping the floor, muttering "How come _we_ don't get a giant apartment?"

"You are lucky enough that Killer Bee-san and Naruto persuaded the Raikage to not take your head. Now less talking, more cleaning!"

"Hn."

* * *

It has been a great day so far, for the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf.

No, scratch that.  
It has been a great year so far, for the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf.

The war was over long ago, thanks to him a lot of people would say, calling him a hero, but he preferred being modest about that. He didn't want the glory and fame go over his head.

Just a few weeks ago, it was announced to the village that he was going to be their new Hokage. It was his dream since childhood, to gain the title to be acknowledged by the village.

Of course, he gained the acknowledgement of the village long ago, before the war, but he was still able to finally crown his oldest aspiration.  
And it felt good. It felt really, really good.

A little evil cackle escaped from his lips as he relished on that feeling.

All right, maybe he was letting the glory and fame go over his head. Just a little bit.

_'Bad Hokage, bad!'_

But seriously, who could blame him?  
As a coronation of his lately successful life, yesterday he finally got the guts so ask his girlfriend to marry him.

And the girl -no, woman. When did _that_ happened?- he was in love with said yes. She actually said yes!  
And she showed him her happiness in a very special way...

Right before entering the Hokage Tower's office halls, he had to actually stop and get a grip of himself.  
After all, it would ruin his imagine in front of the employees if their leader was seen grinning like an idiot.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the doors.  
He was immediately assaulted.

"Hokage-sama! Thank Kami and the Log you're here! We need your signature on the papers for the enrolling of the new Academy's instructors!" said an administrative shinobi as soon as he was spotted.

"Hokage-sama! Our mission office requires your authorization for three A-rank missions, thirteen B-rank missions and fifty-one C-rank missions! We still haven't gathered all the D-rank missions' files yet!" yelled an almost hysterical chunin who was running around carrying a giant pile of folders and scrolls.

"Hokage-sama!" called another. He tuned out what the clerk was saying. It was probably something about some documents needed a stamp of approval, anyway.

"Hokage-sama!" pressed one other.

"_Hokage-sama!_"

Inwardly, the blond Hokage sighed.  
When he was a child and decided that he would become the Hokage, he didn't understand that the job was full of responsibilities, a lot of them tedious to boot.

Seriously, it seemed like some people believed that if he didn't micromanaged everything in double or thrice copy, the village of Konoha would have closed business or something.  
The clerks of the office lounge seemed to believe that, at least.

Still walking and looking straight in front of him -he just knew that if he actually met their eyes he would have stopped to help them, damn his soft heart!- he gave them his orders.

"Take all the documentation needing an approval seal, signature or other kind of authorization in my office."

_'Just like every day.' _he thought.

"I'll revise everything personally, and decide if approve or not the above-mentioned papers."

_'Like every day. Seriously, do any of this bureaucrats actually _know_ how we process those papers? Since they seems to go on a panic every time we have a sudden flow of documents, it's a legitimate question...right?'_

"Hokage-sama." called the first chunin he met today "What about the mission reports?

_'Crap. I forgot about those. What to do? What to do? Think fast, blondie!'_

Just add them to the pile. But since I have important decisions to make regards the other written requests, no debriefing in my office until this afternoon.

He paused for a second, thinking.

"Unless it's about an S-rank mission."

After all, S-rank missions were of great importance for the village. He couldn't postpone a briefing for one just because he wanted to be lazy for one day.

The desk-jokey confirmed his order, scrolling a list for check something.

"We seems to not have issued any S-rank mission these days, Hokage-sama."

_'YES! Praise the Log! No debriefings for this morning!'_

"Yet."concluded the chunin, happily.

_'AAARGH! I bet the bastard is just hoping for a S-rank to show up just to feast on the paperwork! This job is going to be the death of me, I just know it!'_

* * *

Finally, he was alone in his office, admiring the view of the village outside of the windows.

_'He he, my office. Still got to get used to it.'_

Some of the good mood he had a few minutes ago returned for a little while, until he looked to his desk, covered by the bane of every Kage in every Hidden Village (or at least he hoped it was so) ever existed: _paperwork_.

His eyes narrowing, he decided that it was time to apply his secret strategy.

'_The poor chunin think I'll do all this work by myself...suckers!'_

He pressed the intercom button, calling his secretary.

"Noriko, please don't let anyone in my office. If it's a matter of _extreme_ importance, let me know. But don't let them in unless I say so, all right?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama!"

Finished this last detail of his evil plan, he formed a simple hand-seal and muttered:  
"Kage Bushin no Jutsu!"

With a poof of smoke, three clones appeared in the office, right beside him.

"Get to work, boys!"

The three gave him an annoyed look, and started ransacking the pile of paperwork, muttering something on the lines of 'yes boss', 'slave-driver' and 'sloth-lazy Hokage'.

They could complain all they wanted, he would be merciless.  
The three of them were summoned only to form an efficient, documents-evaluating and approving\declining machine.

As the clones processed the giant -and let's say it not really needing the Hokage direct authorization- mountain of paper, he would dedicate his attention to the more important ones.

Who turned out to be only two scrolls.

One from the Fire Daimyo, one from Suna.

_'Weird, usually we find _more_ important scrolls inside the stack. Oh, well. Less work to do.' _he shrugged.

Thanks to the clones, he could concentrate all his attention to these, allowing more time to evaluate how to respond to the Daimyo requests without offending the leader of Hi no Kuni, and consider any proposal the Kazekage may have sent to him.

_'And once I've done this, relax for all the morning!'_

* * *

"Aaand, done. The Daimyo of Fire country shall be quite content to receive this message. Don't you agree?" he asked to his clones.

They just watched him, with their eyes full of anger and frustration, without even stopping from their ungrateful task.

_'What sullen looks. The worst part is that I'll actually remember being angry to myself once they dispel. That's a weird thought.'_

He put the scroll containing his response to the ruler of the Land of Fire in a safe container, before reaching for the letter from Suna. What would the Kazekage want?

Just as he touched the scroll, the door of his office opened loudly.

Startled by the sudden noise, the clones hid in a blink on an eye as someone barged in.

It was one of their orders: instead of dispelling, leaving a cloud of suspicious smoke that would have revealed his "Secret Jutsu Against Paperwork™", they would conceal their presence in case of a sudden intrusion.

"HOKAGE-SAMA!" yelled the man who just entered in the office, either an old chunin or a young jonin, he didn't remember which rank the man had.  
Behind him, the Hokage could see his secretary poking her head trough the open entrance.  
"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama, but he just didn't stop!"

"It's all right, Noriko." responded the blond man "I'm sure he has a good reason. _Right?_" he asked to the chunin\jonin with a flat tone that caused the man to stand on attention.

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" he looked very nervous as he said that "I was sent here by Uchiha-san to inform you of a...urgent situation."

The Hokage didn't say anything, waiting for the man to continue.  
Of course it was an emergency. He was pretty sure that the if anyone sent a messenger to advise the Hokage even if he ordered to not be disturbed, it was for a pressing matter that the Hokage should know as soon as possible.  
Instead, the messenger who just rushed inside his office paused, hesitating.

"Hokage-sama? Why there is a clone of yours hiding behind a plant?"

Turning his head, the blond could see that, truly, there was one of his bushin hiding -badly- behind a potted plant just a few feet away.  
The clone had at least the decency to look embarrassed. Inwardly, he was, too. It was _his_ clone, after all.

"He's gathering intelligence." he deadpanned without hesitation, facing once again the messenger.

"...Yes, of course, Hokage-sama."

In the silence of the room, you could have heard a pin drop.

"So?"

"Uh?"

"The situation you have to report about?" he asked, annoyed.

"Oh! Right!"

Clearing his throat, it was now the messenger to look embarrassed.

"Uchiha-san sent me to inform you that, at a still unkown time...a...building appeared inside Konoha's walls."

Another moment of silence followed that phrase.

"A _building_ appeared in Konoha?"  
He had to ask that, because he wasn't sure if he heard right.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. More or less on the southern district, sir."

"...Are you _sure_ that the emergency wasn't about something else?"

"Pretty sure, sir. The building in question seems to just have materialized from nowhere. Also, it's quite big. Uchiha-san and other shinobi on the scene confirmed that this it's not a genjutsu. And, Hokage-sama..." the man paused, uncertain to continue.

"Speak off!" he yelled, his patience wearing thin.

"You can see the building from your office's window, Hokage-sama." the messenger finished with a whimper, pointing behind his leader with a finger.

_'WHAT?' _the blond Hokage thought, snapping his head to the window.

It was true. He could see, in the distance, almost on the outskirts of the village, the outline of a building he never saw before. He knew there were no construction sites in that part of the village, and buildings didn't just grow overnight.

_'What is going on?'_

"They confirmed it's not a genjutsu, you said? How?" he asked, without looking to the messenger, he rose from his seat, eyes never leaving Konoha's unusual skyline.

"One chunin tried to prove that it was a genjustu punching one of the walls, sir. He broke three of his fingers."

"What measures have been taken?"

"Uchiha-san ordered the evacuation of the neighbourhood where the building is located and established a security cordon on the location. Also he placed spotters and sentinels on the rooftops, but didn't try to inspect the interior of the building yet. He's requesting your presence. Sir."

"Good, good. I'll be going then. Dismissed."

Searching for the chakra signature of the one of the seals he strategically placed around the village, Minato Namikaze was gone in a yellow flash.

**A\N**: Aand cut! First story, hope you'll like it. Plase review and, if you find any typos or grammar errors, please point them out and I'll correct them. English is not my first language and I haven't wrote anything in English in more than 7 years.  
EDIT: fixed the missing breaking lines (I hope).


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone! As I'm posting this, this story already reached 300+ views, and I got MUCH more follows, favs and reviews that I was expecting. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. ALSO! I'm looking for a Beta, so let me know if you're interested.

**I don't own Naruto.**

Inside the top floor of one of the apartments surrounding what was, right now, the most discussed building of Konoha, was situated the temporal command outpost of the Konoha Military Police Force.  
The location had been chosen because it granted a good strategic view on the street in front of the mysterious building and as such was perfect to coordinate their forces.

"Sir! Security perimeter complete. Nobody can enter or leave the area without us knowing it!" said the radio operator, speaking to his commanding officer who was standing a few feets away.

Fugaku didn't knew why that building was out there. He didn't know _how_ it was there.

In his mind, those points didn't matter, at least for now. What concerned him was that the building just _was_. And someone had to been able to put it there. Probably illegally.  
Even if the responsible was not a enemy of Konoha -unlikely, but stranger things happened in the shinobi world- they would have to answer for it.  
So he was going to treat the situation just like any other he faced before.

As a ninja, and as a cop.

"Good. What's the status of our sharpshooters?" he asked.

The operator immediately repeated his question on the radio.

"All in position, kunai, shuriken and senbon at hand. Asking for rules of engagement."

"They're authorized to throw on anyone who leaves the building. They must aim to not vital points, and limbs. We want them alive."

_'For now. We need answers. Speaking of which...'_

He turned his attention on one of his man who was sitting on the floor, in a meditative stance, with his eyes closed.

"Masahiro! Do you sense anything?"

Masahiro was one of the best sensor type in the Uchiha clan. He was able to discern quite a lot abaut a person capabilities just concentrating on their chakra. As such he was a valuable asset against any unknown foe.

"No one is outside of the building. With the exception of our men, of course." Masahiro said in a neutral tone, opening the eyes "But I sense something inside. There are at least twelve, maybe more people inside. No more than twenty. I'm not sure."

At that, Fugaku and everyone in the room bliked in surprise.  
"You're _not sure_?" he said, interrupting him. He didn't remember the last time that Masahiro wasn't sure about what he was sensing, because it had never happened before.

Ignoring the bewildered stares everyone was giving to him, the sensor kept explaining. "Whoever is inside that building, is not in...their top condition. Their chakra signatures are erratical and unstable, and very weak. I'm pretty sure that most of them are unconscious or indisposed."

Once he finished, he closed his eyes again, concentrating once again on the area of operation.

Fugaku frowned, deep in thought.

_'Unconscious? Maybe whatever jutsu they used backfired of them? Or maybe it's a trap, to let us lower our guard?'_

"Also" said Masahiro smiling, interrupting his thoughts "a group of very curious civilians is trying to pass through the security perimeter. Children and teenagers, from the looks of it."

"_What_?" barked Fugaku. Just what they needed! Civvies on the area of operations. He turned to the radio operator "Why nobody stopped them?"

"One of our sentries saw them just now, sir. I was going to inform you!" responded quickly the radioman "She's asking for orders."

"Well, of course instead of stopping them and send them away, since they're just children, she must arrest them!" Fugaku said, his tone full of sarcasm.

Did he really had to tell a sentry how to do her job?

"Sir...are you sure about that? Can't she just scold them?"

Before he could attempt to strangle the radio operator -what was his name? He had so many clansmen that he didn't remember all of their names, sometimes- a banging racket exploded from the kitchen area.

Turning, he saw yet another Uchiha messing with the paltry. Some food packages were scattered on the floor, the contents of some spurting out.

"What are you doing, Kimoto?!" he asked, gritting his teeth to his clumsy subordinate.  
The apartment inhabitants were unhappy enough when they had to evacuate the facility along with the rest of the citizens. Fugaku was sure they would not praise the Uchiha clan when they found out that the Police Force ransacked or destroyed their food.

Kimoto just raised a coffee maker -no doubt acquired from another point of the kitchen- pointing at it with one of his fingers.  
"I was looking for the coffee, sir."

"Black and without sugar, for me." Fugaku said without esitation, forcing himself to calm down.

_'Screw the civilians. I need some coffee after all this shit early in the morning.'_

"Two spoon of sugar, for me." said Masahiro, keeping his eyes still closed.

The still unnamed radio operator spoke again, but not to say something about his coffee.

"Sir, our squad leaders reporting in. They've arrived to their assigned positions, ready to storm the building at any time."

"Good. Tell them to stand by."

The door of the apartment opened, pushed by another shinobi of the Military Police.  
"Sir, someone is arrived to see you."  
"Oh, good. The Hokage is arrived."

"It's not Hokage-sama, sir." said the newcomer, with an almost regretful tone.

"Then who is it?" asked Fugaku, annoyed.

"Us." said a voice he knew well, as two people entered the room.

_'Oh, great. Them. This is going to be one of _those_ days.'_

* * *

Minato teleported himself the closer he could to his destination using the Hiraishin no Jutsu. He had placed various copies of the necessary seal in hidden spots all around Konoha, in an array he planned with the Sandaime during Sarutobi's last years of reign over the village, as a defensive strategy in case of a crisis.

Well there was also the one inside Kushina's house, but _that_ was his and the redhead's little secret.

Still, he appeared a long way from the building location.

He darted on the rooftops, giving himself a small chakra boost to jump over the larger streets, filled with people starting their morning routines.

He was sure that the news about the building appearance would be all over Konoha soon, if they were not already. Sometimes the village inhabitants, civilians and shinobi alike, would gossip more than a old wives circle during teatime.

It could not be helped, though. Before thinking about the theories circulating in the village rumour mill -and give an explanation about what happened- he needed to know _what_ and _how _it happened.

_'Knowing also _who_ is the responsible would be nice.'_

He was almost arrived and could see _it_ clearly now.

_The Building_, as he was starting to call it, was a large apartment complex, five stories high with peach coloured walls. Lots of windows, too. And some nice balconies.  
Seemed a nice place, actually.

The most disturbing fact was not that it didn't exist yesterday.  
The most disturbing fact was that The Building seemed to have merged with the twos that were present at his location before its appearance.  
Minato could clearly see the points where the peach walls met the differently-coloured ones. It looked like the trio of apartments were stuck together, like two different sets of construction blocks that didn't properly match.

He could see the members of the Military Police lined up on the street right under him, holding back firmly a small mob of curious onlookers.  
He landed right between them and the Uchiha policemen, and asked an officer to be take him to Fugaku.  
Sure, he could have shunshined directly inside the security cordon and find Fugaku himself, but going trough the proper protocol would have helped keep the Uchiha clan head satisfied of his position and the standing of his clansmen.

The Uchiha were becoming a little too touchy and paranoid, in his opinion.  
_'Note to self: improve the Uchiha's integration with the village.'_

Also,the people of Konoha needed to know that their Hokage, who had sworn to protect them, was there ready to face...whatever this was. A little show for the public could really help the villager's morale so that they would not go in a panic in case of...

_'In case of what? That The Building wakes up and attacks us?' _he thought as the policeman escorted him, the people cheering a little about his arrival. 

* * *

The Yondaime was accompanied to the Military Police temporary HQ, or, as it was know until an half an hour ago, the Aserawa's residence.

Inside the small apartment -did he smell coffee?- he was greeted by a strange scene.

Right in the middle of the room, Fugaku Uchiha and the masked figure of the ANBU commander were staring at each other, frowning. Well, Fugaku was frowning. He supposed that the Commander was, too. Difficult to say, with the white mask covering his face. But it was a well known fact that the two corps -and commanders- were long-time rivals.  
They were so concentrated on their staring contest that they didn't even notice their leader's presence.

Beside him by the entrance, was standing Shikaku Nara, the recently appointed jonin commander. He was staring at the two men with a bored expression, but acknowledged Minato's presence with a polite nod.

The rest of the room was occupied by an Uchiha sitting on the floor in the lotus position, another Uchiha sitting next to a radio set who was trying to calm down his commanding officer with gestures that kept being ignored, and yet another Uchiha who was standing in the floor of the kitchen area, seemingly oblivious about the scattered food at his feet , completely concentrated on a coffee pot.

_'Oh, there's the coffee I was smelling before.'_

He felt in the mood for a good cup, right now. Maybe with some cream.

His reflections about coffee were interrupted by the angry voice of Fugaku Uchiha -still oblivious about the Hokage's presence-.

"For the last time, the Military Police has this covered. Your presence is not required, Commander."

"This is a potential threat to Konoha. If it is an external aggression, the ANBU are required on the scene." responded the ANBU's leader muffled voice in a similar tone.

"Hokage-sama, we thank you for joining us." greeted Shikaku Nara, a little louder than necessary to reprimand the two officers. High-rank shinobi bickering like children on something like this were just too troublesome.

If the two of them were ashamed of their conduct, they surely didn't show it as they greeted the Hokage themselves. Especially the ANBU Commander.  
Those mask were great to conceal the emotions of its wearer. No wonder the ANBU were forbidden to play poker night with the normal jonin after the last one-sided tournament.

"Report." spoke Minato.

"The building is completely surrounded. The inhabitants of the...absorbed buildings have all been evacuated." started Fugaku, in a professional tone "Our sharpshooters are in position, ready to strike in case someone gets out of the building. We have confirmed at least twelve presences of unknown affiliation inside. Our best sensor" his eyes shifted for a second on the seated form of Masahiro "affirm that they don't seems to be conscious. Finally, our assault squads are ready to enter the building at any time. If we act fast, we can get them without too much trouble."

At that, the ANBU Commander snorted. Or at least made what could be considered a snorting sound for the silent black ops corps.

"Something on your mind, Commander?" asked Fugaku with a falsely polite tone.

"Your Military Police Force is not trained to fight against unknown odds in an enclosed and narrow environment, like in this case. ANBU are. Among other things. My teams should storm the building, not yours."

"**Like hell!** We don't need you white-masked faces meddling with my operation and-"

"**ENOUGH**" thundered the Yondaime. "You are not a pair of academy students! You are among the best of Konoha, veterans of wars and seasoned professionals. **Act like it!**"

A moment of silence followed. This time, both the officers looked embarrassed by their own conduct, but refused to make eye contact as they bowed their head little, in shame.

"Your coffee is ready, sir. Nara-san. Commander-san. Hokage-sama. How do you want it?" called the coffee-making Uchiha, completely breaking the tense atmosphere.

"...One sugar for me. And milk." said the ANBU.

A few minutes later, the four men were sipping their coffee as the Uchiha's minions were forced to put another batch on the flame.

"Hokage-sama, may I speak?" asked the Nara clan head, observing his black-as-night beverage. As Minato's consenting nod, he kept speaking, opening one of the folders present on the dinner table.

"To put it simply, we don't have an explanation for the building sudden appearance. Yet. The first witnesses were the inhabitants of the 'adsorbed' apartments. Standing by these reports" he gestured to the documents inside the folder "they just woke up to discover that part of their abodes had been replaced by peach walls. They raised immediately the alarm, at which the Police Force responded immediately with their usual professionalism." he said gesturing to Fugaku, who nodded in gratitude.  
"All of them are accounted for, so we shouldn't expect an hostage situation."  
Before continuing he took a sip of his coffee, to let that sink in everyone's mind.

"While if this was a normal context the matter would be handled by the Konoha Military Police Force alone, this is a bizarre and unknown situation. ANBU's expertise could be helpful, since they're trained to face unknown odds. And finally I would like to remind you that if the occupants of the building should reveal to be hostile, they're already inside the village walls. Our only advantage is that, apparently, whatever means they used to arrive here knocked them out, maybe even wounded them. But should this not be true, the village could be in danger in case a fight escalated."

"Please, Shikaku. Stop playing with us and tell us what you have in mind." spoke Minato, wishing to go to the point.

Shikaku emptied is cup with one last gulp.  
"Hokage-sama. Fugaku-san. Commander-san. I, as the jonin commander of Konoha, ask the start of a joint operation among all Konoha main forces."

Fugaku's eyes -and the ANBU's too, but he didn't notice- widened hearing this. Usually a joint operation was issued during a time of war or a great crisis, when different objectives otherwise unreachable had to be accomplished for Konoha's security.  
The Nara would never suggest something like this without a serious reason.

The blonde and the pineapple haired men stared at each other for a while, a silent conversation going on through their eyes.

"Request granted." finally said the Yondaime "I assume you already have a plan?"

"You assume correctly, Hokage." said the Nara with a smirk, as he moved some folders to make space on the table.

Shikaku made the hand-seals for his family jutsu and his shadow expanded on the table he just liberated.

Everyone's eyebrows raised at that -even the ANBU's- until he started to manipulate his shadow, moulding it to create on the table a map of the immediate area.

The precision and ease of reading was astonishing. Once again Minato was impressed by the Nara's eidetic memory.

"I suggest we keep using this location as a HQ to coordinate our forces." as Shikaku spoke, a blot of shadow rose from the map "We don't know the building's interior plant, but judging by the windows we can estimate the dimension of the rooms. Before breaking in, we could need more information. This is where the ANBU comes in."  
At that, the Commander's attention perked up.  
"ANBU is specialized in black ops, usually with a great necessity of infiltration. So we are going to send three scout teams composed by a trio of ANBU each, who will advance undetected and report by radio a simple planimetry and if possible gain intel on the occupants. Masahiro-san. Can you pin-point their location inside the building?" he asked to the sensor-nin who was still sitting on the floor.

"The majority of them seems to be on the last floor. But there are some pairs or even isolated ones on other floors, with the exception of the ground floor. I can show you on later, if you want." answered the Uchiha.

"Good, then our ANBU teams entry points will be the enemy, sorry, potential enemy-free areas. Fugaku-san." It was the Uchiha clan head turn to become more attentive "As the ANBU give us intelligence on the building's interior, your teams will get in position. I assume your squads are equipped with riot gear? How many of them are ready?"

"We have five four-men riot teams ready to engagement." answered the Police Chief.

"That's good. When the time will come, they'll breach inside the building, and with the ANBU's support, they'll capture the targets and secure the area." As he said that, more shadow blots formed and converged on the building's form "And they _will_ support each other, _right_?"

The two corps leaders mumbled something that resembled a 'yes'.  
That was good enough for him  
"After that, the Torture & Interrogation section will give us answers." finished Shikaku.

Leaning on the map, Minato raised an eyebrow.  
"You asked for a joint-operation, Nara-san. What about your forces?"

"I was getting to that." as he said that, the shadow map warped once again, showing a view of all Konoha "In case we can't finish this quickly and our targets reveals themselves hostile, the forces on the security perimeter will have to contain the menace. To avoid panic to explode among the civilians, teams of chunin led by a jonin will be deployed all over the village to keep order and intercept eventual runaways, should the targets pass over the perimeter."

As he said that, he dispelled the jutsu. It had probably been a waste of chakra, but he was of the idea that to make a point sometimes you had to be a little theatrical.

"I agree to this plan." said finally Fugaku, a little forcedly.

"I agree too." conceded the Commander "But I wish to make a change on the plan."

"A change?" asked Minato.  
_'Dammit. I hoped that they would be satisfied by Shikaku's plan!' _he thought.

"Nothing major, I assure you, Hokage-sama. I just ask to make one of the scout teams a solo mission."

"Are you sure?" this time, Minato's eyebrows almost reached his hairline "If he gets caught, he could find himself without support."

"Don't worry, Hokage-sama. He will not get caught. He's the best infiltration specialist in ANBU, maybe even the best in the village."

"Wait...are you talking about _that_ ANBU?"

"Yes sir." confirmed the Commander, with a smugly tone.

"Granted, then. Shikaku, how many time before the jonin-led teams will be ready?" asked Minato.

"If we give the orders now, I think...fifteen minutes, tops. But we'll need more personnel and equipment to coordinate our operations." responded the jonin commander, thoughtfully.

"Do it, then."

* * *

The temporary headquarters were now full of people, communicantion equipment and coffee mugs, and it was a total mess.  
The Aresawa family was going to be pissed about that, Minato just knew it.  
Oh well. He could just tell them that it was for the good of Konoha. He was the Hokage, after all.

He was standing beside Shikaku, watching as Fugaku and the ANBU Commander were discussing strategies and checking the last parts of the plan.

"You formulated that plan even before I arrived here, didn't you, Shikaku?"

The Nara just smiled, without looking the Hokage in the face.  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Yondaime-sama. I just planned the most efficient way to accomplish our objectives."

"And the fact that those two may learn something by being efficient for the village's sake never crossed your brilliant mind?"

"I'm just an humble tactical genius, Minato. I don't do miracles."

* * *

**A\N:** Aaand cut! I wanted to show more, but this seemed a good way to end a chapter. I just added the snipped between Minato and Shikaku at the last time.  
In the first draft of this chapter, I realized that Fugaku was pratically channelling Sam Vimes. Even if I smiled at the idea, I discarded it. Hope I took the Vimes away from him.  
You may have noticed those OCs. Don't worry, they're not relevant for the plot. I just needed some extras.  
If an OC appear in this story, assume he\she died in Kyuubi Attack or the Uchiha Massacre.  
I wanted to give more screen-time to Minato, but then Shikaku started explaining his strategy to attack the building. I hope it makes sense, inside my head it did.  
I'm not a tactical genius like Shikaku -or Ursakar Creed- so I apologize in advance for any wrong decision in the plan.  
A last note about the chapter: the Police Force riot equipment.  
I know it doesn't exist in the manga, but hey, it's a fanfiction, right? I just thought that the Uchiha would use some protective gear in case of an heavy-combat assignment. Just so you know what it is, imagine a less bulky version of Madara's or Hashirama's armour.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Naruto.**** If I did, there would be no power-ups pulled out of thin air during a fight just to save a character's ass.**

Four teenagers were walking around the streets Konoha's marked district.  
But instead of just hanging out like normal teenagers, they were walking in a tactical formation and executing their orders with a professional demeanour.

Or at least, that was what Hatake Kakashi, their jonin leader, had hoped for when he started the assignment. The orders for the joint operation arrived without any forewarning, so the teams were hastily assembled with the first elements available, which of course caused Kakashi to be in his current predicament.

"YOSH!" thundered a voice behind him "If I am not able to maintain order in the village, I'll run five hundred laps around the walls! And should I not be able to do that, I'll climb the Hokage mountain using only my hands in less then five minutes! And should I fail to do that, I'll start over again using only my teeth!"

Kakashi groaned as the green-clad chunin, Maito Gai, was shouting his resolve at the top of his lungs, doing poses that the taijutsu enthusiast considered 'youthful'. Whatever that meant.

He watched his other two temporary subordinates, hoping to find their support to calm down the boisterous chunin. His hopes were utterly crushed, as Sarutobi Asuma and Yuhi Kurenai were too busy looking at each other when the other was not watching and blushing faintly when doing so, apparently undisturbed by the big-browed boy's antics.  
It was almost painful to watch. He didn't particularly care, but he remembered that Obito and Rin made a bet once, about how much years would it take for for the oblivious chunins to confess to each other.

That though brought to his mind the more painful memories about his former team mates.

He involuntarily reached for his sharingan eye, covered by his forehead protector, as pangs of guilt stabbed his conscience.

_'Mission.'_ he thought _'Concentrate on the mission. Feel guilty later.'_

"Gai, calm down. You're scaring the civilians." he said with a bored tone.

Actually, most of the civilians were just annoyed by all the shouting, especially this early in the morning. Gai had started making a reputation for himself as a strange guy, so the number of people scared by his presence and...explosive enthusiasm was growing thinner by each passing day.  
He was still oblivious about it, so it was still a good excuse for shutting him up.

"You're right, of course, my eternal rival! Not everyone is ready to admire the greatness of the flames of youth." Gai said, suddenly serious "I shall tone done my explosions of youthfulness, or I'll keep doing this mission walking only on my hands!" he said, exuberant as before and already failing his self-imposed challenge.

"Whatever. Let's keep patrolling."

* * *

Back at the HQ, the joint operation was ready to start.

Minato, Fugaku, the Commander and Shikaku were in the center of the room, surrounded by radio operatives and tech personnel.  
Masahiro was sitting in the exact same spot as before. The only difference was that now he was wearing a communication headset.

"Everything in order, sir. We should have audio feed any second now." shouted a Police Force techie.

"Very well." nodded Fugaku "Hokage-sama, may I?"

"Yes, commence the operation." nodded Minato.

Fugaku pressed a button on the radio in front of him, and getting closer to the microphone, started the necessary radio checks.  
"All teams, report in. Even the ANBU ones." he added quickly.

"_Flame Team standing by. We're at our entry point."_

"_Blaze Team, standing by. We just reached our designed position."_

"Blast Team, reporting. Ready and waiting."

"_Fire Team. Waiting orders."_

"_Pyre Team, what they said."_

Fugaku frowned a little at the last squad leader's lack of professionalism, but said nothing.

_'Good, that's the Police Force riot teams.'_ thought Minato, reviewing the deployment in his mind as the squad leaders confirmed to be ready.

"_Senbon one. No movement visible inside the building, as the sensor said."_

"_Senbon two. Moving to a better vantage point. ETA: twelve seconds."_

_'And that's the sharpshooters.' _kept thinking the Yondaime.

"I have a name, do you know that?" said Masahiro in an even and neutral tone.

_"Radar Man, keep your radio discipline."_ reprimanded one of the weapon throwers.

At _that_, Minato bliked, confused.  
"'Radar Man'?" he whispered to Fugaku.

"He asked to be able to choose his own codename for the communications. I made the error of saying yes." groaned the Uchiha leader.

"What about the ANBU scout teams?" asked Minato after a small pause.

* * *

He was sitting on a crate abandoned who knows how many time ago in an alley of the village.

He'd been awake by less than an hour, and had received less than ten minutes ago his unexpected orders, a solo mission for a joint operation, right in the middle of Konoha.  
Infiltrate a building that didn't exist until this morning, of all things.

_'Didn't even have the time to shave properly.'_ he thought, as he passed one of his gloved hands on his stubble-covered chin while he ispected for one last time his equipment.  
His mask was in his other hand, ready to be worn.  
He checked his armour's harness, to be sure it would not make noise as he entered the mysterious apartment.  
Checking his pouches one last time, he was sure to have all the necessary gear he needed.  
Unlike most ANBU operatives, he didn't carry a sword. He didn't need it.

He perked his head as his auricular came to life, hearing the other scout teams' reporting in.

_"This is Flock, we are ready."_

He raised his mask, examining it. Some people said that he should feel honored to non only be a member of Konoha's elite, but also the man with the same mask and codename that once belonged to one of the three Sannin, the strongest shinobi the village had produced since the time of the Shodai Hokage.

_"This is Pack, ETA to position, twenty seconds."_

Complete bullshit. At least in his opinion.  
ANBU were black ops, carrying the most dangerous, lethal and sometimes questionable missions for the village's sake. All the masks had been soiled by blood long time ago, by different owners. Being used by one of the greatest of Konoha's shinobi to ever live didn't make a difference in his view, especially because he knew  
that the Sannin was much less heroical than most people believed him to be.

The fact that some people in ANBU believed him to be an apprentice of Orochimaru because of the codename, didn't help at all.

He got up, wearing the white, pristine mask.

It was the first time he had to sneak into a place located inside his own village, but having a task helped him to not think too much about how the strange building could have materialized itself.

Also, a part of him that he hated loved the idea of entering the battlefield once again.

_"This is Snake"_ he spoke in his mic _"I'm heading to the rooftop. ETA: 10 seconds."_

As he said that, he disappeared with a shunshin.

* * *

"All teams have reported, sir. Ready to engage."

Minato realized that everyone's attention was on him. In the few months since he was appointed Hokage, this was the first major operation done by all of Konoha's forces.

Even if it was a bizarre one, it still required his direct order as the highest ranking shinobi in the mission area.

"Proceed. Send in the ANBU." ordered the Yondaime Hokage, not permitting to any trace of hesitation seep through his voice's tone.

* * *

As the order was given, a hole started forming on one of the building's walls on the ground floor, like the wall was melting.

When the hole was wide enough, three figures darted inside the room one at a time, landing in a fan formation.  
Konoha's elite shinobi, clad in dark vests and wearing white armour and animal-shaped masks to conceal their identity.  
ANBU.

Once they verified that no one was inside except for them -as Masahiro told them when the entry point was chosen- one of them closed the hole with a simple earth jutsu, leaving the wall back in pristine conditions.

"Pack Team is in." muttered the team leader into his earpiece, that was donned under the mask.

_'Roger that.'_ responded the Uchiha's sensor voice _'You should be clear. No targets on your floor. Stay sharp for any traps, though. I can't sense those.'_

Signaling his subordinates to spread and inspect the floor, the team leader started mapping mentally the place as they advanced.

This place was huge, almost bigger than the hospital. It certainly was higher, since it was five stories high.  
It seemed just like any normal ground floor, of any other apartment complex made for civilian use.  
They passed through quite a number of flats, each composed of a varying number of rooms, bathroom included.

They didn't find a single closed door.  
The only place with some furniture were the bathrooms, and even there it was just toilets and showers. Or bath tubs.

_'Odd. If they can just materialize an entire building inside an Hidden Village, why leave it empty? And why only have a handful of people instead of an entire invasion force? And why leave an entire floor empty of equipment?'_ he thought, before reporting in and giving a map of the ground floor to the riot teams.

* * *

_-Flashback-_

"_Wait, wait wait wait!" said Kiba "Are you saying that this whole place is empty?"_

"Yep!" confirmed Naruto "It's brand new. They finished the work a few weeks ago, and nobody's bought an apartment yet. Even the smaller ones on the lower floors are too expensive."

"_Yeah, well, when they sell them, you'll have a lot of rich and snob neighbors, how does that sound?" said Sasuke._

Naruto flinched at that.  
"I really hope not. Anyway" he continued, putting a hand on Kiba's shoulder and getting close, with a conspiratory air "Since it's empty, we have an entire building all for us! We can party everywhere. We'll not disturb anyone!"

_Kiba and Sasuke blinked at that. Then they realized the implications._

_A pair of identically idiotic grins spread on their faces._

* * *

A similar scene was happening on the first floor.

A hole formed on the wall and the second team entered the building.

The difference was that, unlike the Pack Team, this group didn't enter in an empty room.  
Thanks to a very cruel coincidence, it was the younger and more inexperienced of the team, Canary, who discovered this, by landing on some objects scattered around the floor, tripping and crushing several of them in a cacophony of broken glass before finding his balance again.

This gained him the angry gazes of his team mates. Even if he could only see the black holes of their mask, he knew they were pissed. Especially the squad leader.  
He lowered his head in shame.

"...Flock Team is in" muttered the team leader.

"_That's good. There are at least two contacts on your floor, so be careful."_

The involuntarily clumsy ANBU slumped his shoulders. He knew that if they survived this mission, he would receive a very fiery reprimand. Maybe with a fire jutsu or two thrown in, just for kicks. And then, and only then, he could worry about remaining in ANBU after such a mess up during his first mission.

He looked around. If his career had to go down, he wanted at least to know what he had to blame and swear revenge against it.

Sake bottles. The floor was partly covered with empty sake bottles, and some empty crates.

_'Why there are so many sake bottles here?' _thought Canary.

* * *

_-Flashback-_

_The boys started carrying the crates to the last floor._

_More were waiting on the street, guarded fiercely by Sakura and Ino.  
After all the work they had to do to get them, they didn't want somebody to swipe some of their booze._

"_How come those two were able to find such a big alcohol stash?" asked Shikamaru._

"_Sakura told me that it took years for them to stock such a big amount." responded Naruto._

"_What? Years? Why did they amass such a quantity of sake? Did they want to open a bar?"_

"_No, they wanted to make Tsunade-baa-chan stop drinking. So they just stole her stash. With Shizune's help, of course."_

"_Did it work?"  
_

"_Not really. I think Baa-chan has still a few hiding places they don't know about."_

"Just a question, where did they put all of this sake?" Shikamaru was very curious about this.

"_Under Baa-chan's house. She never thought to look there." snickered Naruto._

"_Troublesome women."_

-End Flashback-

The bird-masked ANBU groaned. It seemed that he just swore revenge against alcohol. Meaning, he couldn't drink anymore if he got expelled from the ANBU corps.

This day sucked.

* * *

"This is Snake. I'm in."

"_Good. You are on the floor with highest number of unknown contacts. Estimated number between nine and twelve."_

"Should I attempt to neutralize them?"

_"Negative. Your primary objective is to gain intelligence on the targets. Avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary."_

"Understood. I'm entering a...kitchen area, I think."

It was a nice kitchen, with big island in the middle, with lot of space to prepare the food.

A pair of stoves were present, along with a coffee maker and lots of other stuff.

It was also a mess. Not a mess hall, a mess.

There was quite a large pile of plates and pots in the sink, the cabinets looked like they had been raided.  
There were empty bottles of sake and other liquors _everywhere_.

And this place smelled. Smelled really bad!

* * *

_-Flashback-_

_"Are you sure it's okay to leave them like this? I feel bad about it!"_

"_Relax, Choji. Let's just enjoy the dinner you prepared for us." said Naruto._

_"But it's not..."_

_"Don't worry, man!" interrupted the energetic, slightly inebriated blonde "I can just do some shadow clones tomorrow to wash the dishes and put all this place in order!"_

_"Or you could have Sasuke do it for you." snickered Kiba._

_"Eh, like hell I'll clean this place again." responded the last Uchiha._

_"I could ask Karin to 'convince' you, you know..." muttered Naruto._

"_HEY!"_

* * *

Opening one of his pouches, Snake extracted his ultra compact camera and started taking pictures.

He didn't know what kind of intelligence HQ could gain on these people by looking at this, but he had his orders and he sent them.

* * *

Unbeknownst to him, Snake's picture were causing a general sweat-dropping to everyone back to the HQ.

"Seems our intruders are a messy bunch." muttered Minato, looking to the various images just received.

* * *

Finished transmitting the pictures, Snake moved on.

Moving quietly, he opened the door.

He found himself in a very big room, realizing immediately that he wasn't alone.  
On a pair of couches, he could see the blanket-covered shapes of a pair of people.  
One was quite large. And tall.  
The noise of their snores was a good alert signal, too.

Another person, a boy with bowl-cut black hair, was crashed on an improvised music center, his body covered completely by some sheets that someone probably had put on him.

* * *

_-Flashback-_

"_Hey, Naruto-kun. I was thinking..."_

_"About what, Hinata-chan?"_

_"What about Lee? You know what happens if he drinks even a few sips of alcohol."_

_"Not a problem, Hinata-chan!" grinned the young blond "I talked to Tenten about it. We'll make turns to be sure that Lee does not touch the stuff. We've got some soda for him. Also, after dinner he'll be too busy putting music on and dancing. He'll forgot about the booze soon enough."_

_"Are you sure it will work?" asked the Hyuuga heiress, worried._

"_Well, I surely hopes it does. I don't want to have my new home destroyed by one of my friends!" he said, laughing._

* * *

They seemed soundly asleep so he continued examining the room without going near them, not wanting to test his luck.

Even here, bottles of liquors were scattered around, and a pair of crates. Most were empty, but a few on the table still a bit of sake inside.

As he was almost on the point of leaving the room to keep searching this floor, when a detail he didn't notice before caught his attention.

It was a picture, put at one end of the table.  
It had a black frame, and a single, undisturbed bottle of sake was standing beside it.

Snake's blood froze when he understood what he was seeing, he could recognize those distinctive features anywhere.

It was a young male Hyuuga, wearing a Konoha head protector.

* * *

Flock Team had reached the third floor, after sending the map of their entry point to the HQ.

They were silently advancing in a straight line, moving alongside an hallway.

The now doomed to eternal sobriety Canary was closing the line, walking backwards and watching his team mates' backs.

_'Maybe if I do a good job on the rest of the mission, I will not be expelled!'_

That was his thought just before he heard his foot tread on something.  
In the completely silent building, the otherwise ignorable sound seemed much louder, like it had an echo of his own. Time seemed to freeze before the team was sure nobody heard that.

He looked down. His foot was on a small patch of...sand?

_'Sand? WHY IS THERE SAND HERE?'_ he thought frantically as he turned to watch his team.

They were looking at him, their expressionless masks hiding their disapproval.  
The body language of his team leader was speaking volumes about his future.

_'The Commander will have me eat my mask in front of everyone, before expelling me out of the ANBU headquarters with a kick in the butt! I'll spend my days guarding the village gates, I just _know_ it!' _he inwardly despaired, his last hope to save his career in shambles.

Canary really wanted to cry.

* * *

Gaara snapped open his eyes. And immediately regretted doing it.

"Uuugh..." he grogged out, unable to emit any coherent sound.

His head hurt really, really bad.

He had a terrible taste in his mouth, and the faint light in the sand-filled room was blinding him.

Wait.

Sand-filled room?

Rising a little his head, he verified that he was, indeed, lying down in a sand-filled room he was not familiar with.

_'How...did I get here?'_ he thought, having to do a strain hard to elaborate the thought.

He tried to move -Great Wind, his head hurt _so much_- and it was then that he noticed that his arm was trapped under something...soft?

Partially turning on his left flank, he found himself staring at the back of Matsuri's head.  
And her naked spine.

_'Wha...?'_ he half thought, trying to remember through the pain what occurred last night.

It was also the moment he realized he was missing his clothes.

_'Oh.'_ was the only rational thing his mind could produce as he remembered certain...details of the last night, while his eyes widened and he blushed a little.  
And for him even a little was very, very much.

Apart from _those_ memories, he could now start to remember how the welcome back's party went out of control...

* * *

_-Flashback-  
_

"_I hereby announce the beginning of the first Bijuu-Jinchuuriki tag-team arm wrestling tournament!" shouted an happy and slightly tipsy Sakura._

_Thanks to her medical jutsu, the pinkette was able to let the others -and herself- drink much more alcohol than normal without, well, dieing of alcohol poisoning._

_A lot of alcohol was consumed, except on Lee's part who was monitored by everyone to avoid another accident like that time at the steak house._

_"Remember now, only one tail!" said Sakura._

_"It's not a tournament if there are only two contestants." muttered Sasuke, pouting._

_"Ooooh, come on, teme! You're jealous just because you can't participate!"_

_"My Susanoo would win for sure, dobe!"_

_"Well too bad your Susanoo is not a Bijuu, right?" snickered Naruto "Are you ready, tanuki boy?" he asked to Gaara, who was sitting at the other side of the table, right in front of him._

_"Ready when you're, Foxy." responded Gaara in his usual neutral tone._

_At that, a chorus of "Oooooh" raised between all of the party's participants._  
_That had only the effect of pumping up Naruto's competitive spirit._

_"You're on, Mister Kazekage! Come on, Kurama!" shouted Naruto, forming a single tail of chakra, that quicly assumed the form of a giant hand._

_"Let's go, Shukaku." whispered Gaara._  
_His sand started leaving his gourd, shaping itself as a thick paw that surrounded his own arm._

_The two jinchuuriki grabbed each other's 'hand' and waited for the signal, their gaze never leaving their opponent's eyes._

_"Begin!"_

* * *

When Shukaku asked to be sealed inside him once again, after the end of the war, Gaara never thought they would fight together in something like _that_.

_'Did we win?'_ he asked to the Ichibi."

**Oh. You woke up.**

_'More or less. My head hurts really bad, though. Could you...?'_

**Way ahead of you.** said the Bijuu, infusing his chakra on his host's body. Gaara could already feel the headache quite down a bit.

Thanking Shukaku mentally, he started to get up, fumbling around to avoid falling on his butt. It was not a dignified sight, for a Kage.

Once he was stable on his feet, he gently covered Matsuri's form with a blanket formed by solidified sand.

_'Alright. That is done.'_ he thought, looking around the room that right now resembled Suna's desert _'Now, where are my pants?'_

* * *

The last set of pictures sent by Snake caused quite a racket back at the HQ.

People were gasping, people were shouting.  
Nobody seemed to know the Hyuuga, though.

People were asking for an identification, believing him to be a target of the intruders.

Other people asked the same thing, but to capture him, saying he could be a mole.

Minato, for his part, was questioning himself about something.  
_'Why a group of intruders would...celebrate so much, when they infiltrated so successfully, yet so poorly?'_  
After all, they were able to put an entire building inside Konoha's gates without anyone noticing how they did it.  
On the other hand...they put an entire building inside Konoha's gates.  
Surely they thought that an Hidden Village as a whole would have noticed an extra building...right?

Since he could not find an answer for that, he was forced to deal with the elephant in the room.  
As Fugaku was busy calming down his more loud officers, he approached the ANBU Commander.

"Is he really a Hyuuga?" he whispered, avoiding anyone hearing their conversation.

The Commander slowly nodded.  
"The eyes and other features are presents, but...I don't know him. Also, the picture could be a well made fake."

Now, _that_ was a good question. Was the picture a fake?

Minato's musings were interrupted when he heard Shikaku's voice.

"It's a commemorative altar."

"What did you say?" asked the Hokage.

"The picture's frame is black, meaning some kind of grief toward the subject of the picture. So our unknown Hyuuga is likely dead. It is located at one of the table's heads, so it was placed in a seat of honor. Quite...a lot of consumed sake bottles were found, on almost all of the building's floors. But that one, beside the picture, was left untouched. So, it is some kind of offering to that shinobi, a way to honor his memory."

Shikaku paused when he realized the strange looks everyone was giving him.

"Don't look at me like that. I don't know _why_ they honored his memory. I'm just explaining a deduction based on the facts in our-"

"Some of the targets are awakening! Snake, two are in the same room you're in! Hide!" Masahiro said in almost a shout, interrupting Shikaku's explanation.

Everybody held their breath, their eyes focused on Masahiro.  
If the intruders were waking up, the operation was getting more dangerous.

"I hear some one speaking." said one of the radio operators.

"It is Snake?" asked Shikaku.

"No. It's...one of the intruders, sir."

"Put it on the speakers. Turn off all your microphones! Start recording!" ordered Fugaku.

The room grew even quieter as everyone was wondering what the intruder would speak about.  
Did they find Snake? Did they capture him?

"-_at a night! I feel like Kiba punched me in tandem with Akamaru!" _groaned an unknown voice.

"What...?" whispered Minato, slighty confused. He wasn't expecting a phrase like that.

"What mic are they talking into?" asked Shikaku.

"_Uuh, too bright!"_

"Snake's one, sir. He turned on his mic just a few seconds ago." responded an operator.

The room was immediately full of agitated whispers once again.

"Shush!" ordered Fugaku "This is invaluable intelligence. Shut up unless necessary."

"_Yeah, we really overdid it."_ said another voice, this one almost toneless and not in pain.

"Where are they, Masahiro? Are they close to Snake?"

After a second, the Uchiha sensor replied.

"They're...right beside him. I don't know how they can't see him."

"_Uuugh, Sai? How come you don't have hangover?"_

'Hangover?' thought Minato, incredulous _'Well, I suppose they had to do something with all that sake, but seriously?'_

"_I do have hangover. Terrible one, also. But I'm able to resist the pain."_

"_I see. Your ROOT training, right?"_

At that, _everyone_ in the room gasped.

_'ROOT? Danzo's old shadow group? This is grave news. If one of his agents are in there, he knows what's going on for sure. Once we've captured The Building's occupants, better call in the Sandaime to assist in the investigations'_

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the retired Sandaime Hokage, the God of Shinobi, sneezed as he was enjoying the sunny morning on his porch and sipping a nice tea his beloved wife made for him.

He groaned, seeing his stained pants and the empty cup.

"Biwako, dear? Could you please bring me a handkerchief? And put a new kettle on the fire? Thank you."

* * *

Minato eyes met those of the high-ranking shinobi in the room.

They all knew how serious this was.  
But there was so much they _didn't_ know.

Was it a conspiracy? Was Danzo making his move on the title of Hokage since Minato was considered too young and inexperienced by some of Konoha's shinobi?  
An internal section of the Hyuuga clan, perhaps? Maybe the branch family, unhappy with their condition of servitude, punished at a whim of the main house?

Or was he collaborating with some external power? He knew that Danzo would never betray Konoha, or, to be fair, his own vision of what Konoha should be. But Minato knew that Danzo was a dangerous and cunning enemy, and who knew what the crippled shinobi would do to fulfill his ambitions?

"_Come on, Sai. Let's wake up the others, we must prepare to-" _after that, the voice started fading until it disappeared.

"They're gone, Snake. Good job." said Masahiro into his microphone, smiling "How did you managed to stay hidden? A jutsu?"  
_  
"You should know I'm a professional, Radar Man."_

* * *

_'Like hell I'm going to tell them I avoided being spotted by hiding in one of these empty boxes!'_ thought the professional infiltrator.

* * *

Pack Team was on the fourth floor just a few minutes later, and they'd already had some close calls where the intruders almost spotted them.

It seemed that whatever backslash the justu they'd used had, it was wearing down.

The team leader signaled with his hand to stop when they heard a female voice shouting just behind the corner.

Something about the water not running anymore in the bathroom. Weird.

Still using hand signals, he guided his men in an empty room, thanks to Masahiro telling him the locations of the awakening intruders by radio.

They entered in a decently sized loft, located in the center of the fourth floor.

The room was devoid of human presence, but that didn't mean it was empty.

When they saw what was on the wooden floor, they stopped in their tracks.

At the very center of the room, on the wooden floor, was a giant symbol painted with an unidentifiable ink.

The team leader recognized it a some kind of seal, a product of fuinjutsu arts.

It was shaped like a big spiral, surrounded by different seals of unknown purpose.  
At random intervals there were other spirals growing up from the main seal, and more symbols were painted around them.

Also it was _moving_, rotating on itself slowly but surely.

That was not good.

The team leader was not a seal master, but he knew how to create his own explosive tags and storage scrolls. A seal was not supposed to _move_ and _shift its form_ like that_. _If it was, it was an unstable, potentially dangerous seal. And that was just when a small seal was made wrong.

An unstable seal of this magnitude?

It was bad. Really, really bad.

He had to report this to the Hokage immediately.

He was so shocked about his discovery, that he didn't heard Masahiro warnings in time.

Sensing a presence behind them, they turned, unsheathing their weapons and taking a battle formation.

A young blonde was trudging down the hallway, apparently unsure on his feet.  
His face was a mask of pain and he seemed to ignore the ANBU as he passed in front of them. He almost resembled...the Yondaime?

The team leader was almost on the point of giving the order to attack and restrain him, but the blond turned his head towards them, waving with his hand.

"Hey guys. Tell baa-chan I'll see her soon, ok? Bathroom first."  
His voice was very coarse, too. Ignoring them after that, he kept strolling along the hallway.

At that, the team leader was really confused. He gave the signal for retreat.

"HQ, HQ." he called in his mic.

"_This is HQ. Speak Pack Team." _

"We found something and..." he paused, unsure how to continue "Did Hokage-sama entered the building?"

There were a pair of seconds of silence on his earpiece.

"_No, he's here. Why?"_

"Then we were just spotted."

* * *

**A\N: **Woo! That's the longest chapter I wrote so far! Hope you enjoy it!

Guess what, my readers? I have a Beta now, the awesomefully helpful **PyrothTenka**! If you haven't already, go to read her story, **Minato's: The Art of Being Dead**.  
I had a little problem at the last minute because my writing program crashed as I was editing the ending. I was able to restore the document *whew* so everything should be good. Oh, and you may have noticed that I changed the rating, hope to not disappoint anyone.  
And now, review! Your reviews strenghten my lifeforce! *insert evil laugh here*


	4. Chapter 4

**A\N: **_When I was writing this chapter I realized I made an error on the timeline, about Orochimaru's betrayal. I checked and it seems that our pale Sannin deserted Konoha some time after the Kyuubi attack, not before. So I changed Snake's musings about his mask and Orochimaru in the previous chapter. Sorry for the slip.  
_**  
I do not own Naruto. If I did, he would have not have become the Ninja Jesus, preaching about peace and love to a society of mercenaries and assassins.**

* * *

"_Then we were just spotted."_

Beside him, Minato could just _feel_ Fugaku and the Commander's reactions.  
Fugaku was probably smirking, thinking how how the ANBU had failed their silent recon.  
He heard the almost inaudible sigh that escaped the ANBU leader's lips, behind his white mask.

He could swear that the two rivals were keeping score, or something.

"Our cover is blown. Send in the riot teams," he sighed. That was surely going to inflate the Uchiha clan head's ego, even if it was part of Shikaku's plan.

"With _pleasure_, Hokage-sama," said Fugaku, in a not-so-stoic tone that only confirmed Minato's worries.

_'Note to self: really find a way to improve the situation with the Uchiha clan's isolation. Maybe interacting with the village they'll get better.',_ thought the blond Hokage. 

* * *

"_All riot teams, breach and storm in ten seconds. Repeat, breach and storm in ten seconds,"_ said Fugaku's voice on the radio.

"_Blaze Team, a target is just on the other side of your entry point. Expect immediate resistance," _added Masahiro's voice.

They were inside on the apartments what were partially "eaten" by the building when it mysteriously appeared. The peach coloured wall was in front of them, the dining room they were standing in cut almost evenly in half.

"Understood, sir. We're going in," confirmed in his earpiece the leader of Blaze Team, signalling to his closest subordinate to proceed.

The Uchiha quickly planted a specialized explosive tag on the wall as the others leaned to the side of it, away from the blast zone.  
Once he was done, he joined them and at the last of the ten seconds, he set off the tag.

The explosive did its job, tearing a passage through the wall and raising a cloud of debris and dust.

Blaze Team stormed in, ready to take out the intruder quickly with their superior numbers and the element of surprise.

At least, that was the plan. Instead, they stopped dead in their tracks once they got inside, surprised by the sight in front of them.

They had breached the wall of a luxurious bathroom, a little barren of furniture but still luxurious anyway. In front of them stood a dark-haired beauty, practically naked, who had been busy trying to make the shower work until they blown up the wall.  
She stood there, hand still on the not-functioning shower valve, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

Wait, her eyes...  
_'She's a Hyuuga? Why is a Hyuuga here, and...is Asuko bleeding from the nose?' _

Nobody moved for several seconds, even when the echoes of the other teams' blazing entries reached them.

Then the girl finally reacted how any girl caught like that in front of five unknown males would have done.

She started screaming.

* * *

The Fire Team was in even before the rubble started settling on the floor.

Running between the empty rooms, the team leader wanted to use the advantage of surprise before the enemy could react and organize a defence.  
They stopped only only to open each door, leaving quickly once the room were called clear.

_'Nobody's here? Masahiro told us there were lots of chakra signatures on this floor. Where are they?'_

The next door was opened by the impatient team leader with a kick so strong that it flew off its hinges.

The team entered like before, weapons in hand, only to be greeted by what was probably the opposite of a prepared enemy ready for a fight.

Knelt be the side of a toilet was a young man with brown, spiky hair, who was sporting the marks of the Inuzuka clan on his face.  
And he was puking his guts out.

_'What? An Inuzuka here-'_

The team leader stopped, as did his men. Not in surprise, but because they were assaulted by the stench of the kid's vomit. If the boy really was an Inuzuka, he didn't want to imagine how terrible the smell was for him.

The hopefully-for-him-not -an-Inuzuka barfed one last time, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. It was then that he noticed someone else was in the bathroom.  
He turned his head wobbling, still kneeling by the toilet, and saw them.

"Who the fuck are you guys?" he said in a suffering tone.

It was then that another whiff of the foul smell assaulted the nostrils of the team.  
All of them made disgusted faces and noises. A couple of them even fled the room, breaking squad discipline.

Seemingly offended by this reaction, the teen shouted in their direction.  
"HEY! I WAS SICK, ASSHOLES!"

* * *

The radio channels were suddenly filled with chatter as the riot teams started their assault on the building.

Minato, Fugaku, the Commander and Shikaku were listening attentively, hoping that everything went according to plan.

Everyone fliched in pain as their eardrums were assaulted by a loud undignified shriek from the speakers.

"_Blaze Team, here! We came in contact with one of the targets! It's a Hyuuga girl and-"_

"_GETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!"_ screamed a female voice, presumingly said Hyuuga girl.

_'So at least a Hyuuga is involved. But why?'_ thought Minato, glancing at the ANBU leader _'And why is she screaming like that?' _

Suddenly other screams and sounds of a fight were heard from the speakers, along with some pained moans. Too many noises to be a good thing.

"Blaze Team! What's happening?" asked Fugaku, worried about his men.

_"SHE JUKENED MY BALLS! SHE JUKENED MY BAAAAALLS!" _was heard all over the room.

All the present males (and even some of the women) winced at that. Even the stoic ANBU Commander. Not really an application of the 'Gentle Fist' they wanted to imagine.

Sounds of another fight could be heard on another squad's channel.  
An unknown, brash voice spoke.

"_You guys are really assholes, you know? Attacking me like that for no reason! Can't you see I'm-"_

The voice stopped, and instead a disgusting sound could be heard, along with laments about the smell made by the members of Fire Team.

"_Uugh. I feel much better, now,"_ said the same voice in a low tone, before speaking again, _"Now, who's first?!"_

* * *

As the signal for the attack was given to the Police Force riot teams, the ANBU scout teams moved to support them, coordinating each other's efforts thanks to a private channel.

Meaning, running like hell and trying to knock out more intruders than the Uchiha.

Losers had to buy dinner. Not that the Hokage needed to know that.

Masahiro was strangely neutral about the whole thing, not really caring and giving instructions to every team. He seemed entertained by the whole idea and wished he had popcorn. Not that the ANBU and Police teams knew that.

Flock team was still on the third floor and was moving quickly to the location of a pair of targets.

"O_ne of them is unconscious, but the other one is moving frantically. And he seems powerful. His chakra signature is becoming stronger as we speak. Proceed with caution."_

The team leader gave the signal to speed up, and the Flock Team burst inside the room Masahiro had guided them to, literally jumping through the door.

They entered ready for a fight. Attack the targets, stun them, secure them and rub it in the Police Force's faces.

They room seemed like a beach surrounded by four walls. Or a desert.

_'So here's where the sand came from!' _thought Canary mid-jump _'Why do they have a room full of sand, anyway?'_

In the middle of the room were two figures. A supine one who was...covered only by sand, and a young man with red hair who was wearing only a pair of boxers, showing his back to them.  
The redhead was gesturing and the sand around the room seemed to shift at his will.

"I know they're here somewhere..." muttered the young man in a toneless voice, still not facing them.

Without hesitation, the three ANBU charged him, running on the sandy floor.

As soon as they were in arm's reach, the sand around the teen _rose_, shoving away the three surprised shinobi. Only then did the teen, as the boxer-wearing man revealed himself to be, turn to face them with a blank expression.

Canary flipped in mid-air, using the momentum of the push he received to land gracefully...on something that was crushed under his feet.

A loud cracking noise echoed in the sand-filled room.

The teen's eyes widened, his entire body flinching like he was struck, personally.

_'What's wrong with me and stuff under my feet toda-'_ thought Canary, glancing down, not noticing the redhead's reaction. His train of thoughts about his unlucky day stopped when he saw what he'd stomped on this time.

He had landed on a pile of clothes and robes, the only missing piece seemed to be a pair of pants.

On the top of the pile, and under his feet, was now a clearly broken Kage hat.

A Kage hat with the kanji for 'Wind' on it.

Feeling the almost-naked shinobi's gaze on him, Canary looked up.

Now that he could see the boy's face, he resembled the pictures he'd saw of the Kazekage.  
But it couldn't be him, he was too young, and the Yondaime Kazekage didn't have that tattoo on his...

_'Is his eye twitching?'_

Yes, the boy's left eye was definitely twitching.  
He didn't move, but all the sand in the room started to swirl, like if moved by an hurricane.

Canary couldn't do anything, except ask himself what he did wrong to deserve a day like this.

* * *

Chaos.

Utter uncontrolled chaos seemed to have exploded inside 'The Building'.  
The confused pieces of radio chatter weren't that helpful to put together a clear picture.

_"This is Senbon one, target in sight. Engaging," _reported one of the sharpshooters.

_"This is Fire, we request assistance on the second floor! We made contact with an intruder, he's a-"_

"_Hey Kiba, what's goin on he-"_

"More on our six! Great Fireball Jutsu!_"_

From the sound of fighting, jutsu being shouted and the sounds of explosions, it seemed that the plan for quick assault on easy, unconscious targets had gone down the toilet.

_'No good. We need to stop this, fast,'_ thought the Yondaime, wondering if he should intervene personally. He knew that Fugaku and the Commander would not appreciate it, but-

"_What's the big deal? Can't a guy take a leak in peace, dattebayo?!" _screamed an angry and brash voice from the radio.

"...dattebayo?" muttered a very confused Minato.

* * *

The ANBU Commander was frowning. Not that anyone knew, thanks to the mask.

If a Hyuuga was inside there, able to use the Juken, then picture was not a fake.  
But the one pictured in the photo frame was male. If a female one was also present, in flesh and blood and not a picture...  
That raised a lot of questions.  
Were they traitors? Was there a plot to help some of the village's enemies?

Or were they...born outside the village? Maybe a Hyuuga on a mission got drunk and-

He stopped that train of thought. He needed facts, not crazy theories about long lost children.

He approached Masahiro, who was still concentrating on the building.

"I need to know one thing, Uchiha-san."

"Just one second...hey watch out, Pyre Team! You're heading straight to-"

_"Wha-? Sand? Here?"_

_"Hey, you! Surrender now and-"_

"_Sand Binding Prison,_" stated a cold and monotone voice.  
Then everything went to static.

"Oh great. Well it seems they're still alive, at least," muttered Masahiro "Now, how can I help you, Commander?"

"The Hyuuga girl. Where is she?"

"Oh, it's about _that_? No sense wasting time, then." replied the Uchiha, closing his eyes again.

The Commander watched in silence as the sensor concentrated.

"She's still on the floor were she fought the Blaze Team. But she's moving, fast, to the west side of the building."

"I see. Thank you." said the Commander. He changed the channel of his personal radio as he walked to a more secluded part of the Aresawa's residence.

"Snake, this is the Commander. What's your position?" whispered the ANBU leader.

_"Commander, I'm on the third floor, moving to support-"_

"Negative. You have a new mission. You must find one of the intruders."

_"Yes sir. I...see."_

"Snake, she's a Hyuuga."

_"WHAT?"_

"I know. You must capture her alive. Understood? We need answers."

"_Of course, sir. After all...I'm the right man for the job, right?"_

"Indeed."

* * *

Ino was not having a good morning.

Unlike last night's party.  
The party had been fun, it had been crazy, it had...she was not sure about much else, because the last clear memory she had was about being offered a sake bottle by someone. After she'd already drunk quite a bit. She could check with her family's techniques later, maybe.

Right now she was ravaged by a terrible headache, plus all the classic hangover package.

She had tried to ease the pain with some medical jutsu, but she was not as skilled as Sakura.

Also she had other more dire matters at hand.  
Like those pricks who had her pinned behind one of the sake's crates -did they really get so much of the stuff?-, shooting senbon and shuriken at her through the windows.  
Echoes of people fighting reached her ears, seemingly from every direction.

_'What the hell?! Is the village under attack? Where's everyone?' _she thought.

She got there to dive for cover on reflex when she heard the weapons breaking the glass.  
Now she was stuck because they wouldn't let her leave, and she was without weapons.  
None of the party participants had them. It was her fault actually.

She'd created the "no weapons at a party" rule after the "Drunk Tenten Incident" of two years ago, and everybody'd agreed. Now it was biting her in her pretty ass.

She had no idea who would attack the village right now, after all the peace talks.

Ino doubted the others were in any better condition than she was.  
The only weapons she could use...were the one stuck in her wooden shelter.

Deciding that she needed something to defend herself, she tried to reach for some senbon or shuriken, only to have her hand grazed by what seemed to be a warning throw.

_'This is no good. I gotta go away from here...maybe if I just move the crate like a shield, I could...'_

Her lines of thought was interrupted when she felt a presence approaching her position.  
Snapping her head in that direction, she felt some relief seeing Tenten running towards her instead of some of these mysterious attackers.

The weapon specialist looked like shit, but Ino was sure she did too.

Then her eyes widened as she realized that the girl was about to run into the line of fire.

"Ino, what's going on? Who's fighting?" called the bun-haired girl.

"Tenten, stop! There's a weapons thrower somewhere outside!" screamed Ino, gesturing with her hand.

Hearing that, Tenten skid to an halt, glancing to the windows in front of her and the various weapons stuck in the crate. She had stopped barely in time to avoid running right into harm's way.

The weapon enthusiast girl just watched the weapons and the window for a second or two, before searching for something to use for her purpose.

She found it.

"Ino, pass me one of those!" she instructed the younger girl.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Throw me one if you want to get out of here!" yelled the bun-girl.

-Senbon 1-

Ruka was ready to strike, senbon in hand.  
From the top of the cable pole she was on, she could clearly see the crate the girls was using as pathetic cover.

If the girl tried to move out of her safe haven, she would pepper her with senbon.

Only non-vital areas, of course. She had orders to capture her targets alive, and orders were orders.

The only problem was that to trap the girl there, she was running low on weapons.  
She couldn't keep her there indefinitely.

Seemed her little game was over, then. She pressed her mic button.

"Senbon one here. I have a target pinned, but can't get a clear shot. Send a team to restrain her on the-"

She didn't finish before something collided with her face, _hard_, knocking her out and sending her unconscious form falling inside a waste bin that was right under the pole.

* * *

"Got him," said Tenten, like it was nothing.

"Wha-? How? You didn't know his position. And you used a _bottle_!" said Ino as she emerged from behind her hiding spot.

"Well, I _am_ the best weapons specialist in Konoha! Besides, I just watched the weapon's angle to understand the direction they were thrown."

Even if she obviously in pain for the hungover and the bags under her eyes, Tenten managed to actually sound smugly.

"...You're awesome."

"I know," said Tenten, as she started collecting the various weapons "Aaaw, no kunai..

* * *

"Senbon one is down," said Masahiro, who was almost overwhelmed between the double task of coordinating the teams inside the building and informing his superiors about what was happening.

"She fell?" asked Fugaku, with a sadden tone. Ruka was among his best marksmen, a prodigy with long-range combat. She would be missed. If they got her, then the enemy had talented long-range fighters too.

"Yeah, right in the middle of the trash. I don't envy her," deadpanned Masahiro, ignoring Fugaku's sputtering and keeping the teams posted "Guys? Did you saw the sand guy? Yeeeah, avoid him. Really."

From the riot team's open channels they could still hear their mysterious intruders.  
Most of what they said didn't make sense at all.

"_How come the Hokage hasn't sent anyone yet?" _yelled a feminine voice.

_'But...I did.' _thought Minato, sweat-dropping.

_"Who are these people?"_

"Don't know...uugh. Sakura? Karin? Could someone please heal me? My head's killing me."

So they had medics to tend their wounded.  
_'They sure are organized.'_

"_Hey, teme! This one looks a little like you. Don't you think?"_  
It was the brash voice, the one who said "dattebayo". Minato was still confused about _that_.

_"Don't be ridiculous, dobe. He doesn't look like me at all,"_ responded another voice, a colder one.

_"How come no one is coming to help us? We're right in the middle of Konoha! An attack would have been noticed," _said another voice, who seemed quite frustrated.

Not frustrated like Minato. That question didn't make any sense!  
Maybe the enemies were trying to confound them?

_"Maybe we aren't the only ones being attacked. Let's hope Tsunade-baa-chan can handle this on her own until we go save her ass!"_

Tsunade?!  
...Baa-chan?

_"Someone help me wake up Lee! He's still out!" _said the female again.

_"HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE THE SHARINGAN!"_ shouted the brash one suddenly.

_"They have WHAT?!"_ asked the cold one, losing his coolness.

"_Uuuh, what's happening? I think I was much too youthful last night..."_ said another voice. This one was new, and a little raspy.

"_HOW DARE YOU STEAL THE UCHIHA CLAN'S EYES?!"_ screamed the not-so-cold-anymore voice in fury.

Minato was very confused now. He was keeping a calm and collected exterior but inwardly he just wanted to put his hands on his hair and start begging the world to make sense again.  
He was not the only one, judging by Fugaku's widened eyes and offended expression.

They almost didn't hear the raspy voice, since they were just too shocked by the nonsensical things these people were saying. Almost.

"_I think I need to drink something..."_

"NO! LEE! DON'T DRINK THAT-"

Half of the top floor's front wall exploded.

* * *

Finished his delightful tea, Sarutobi Hiruzen was still sitting on his porch, smoking his pipe happily.

"Retirement is good, indeed. No more responsibilities, no more paperwork, no more-"

An explosion in the outskirts of the village interrupted his happy monologue.  
Whatever was happening there, seemed to having grown out of control.  
He was sure Minato could handle it just fine. _Minato_ was the Hokage, after all.

He was retired.

_'But...the village could be in danger.'_

He sighed, rising slowly.  
Old habits died hard.

"Biwako, dear? Could you please prepare my battle gear for me?"

* * *

Silence reigned in the HQ.

The only one who didn't seemed shocked about the sudden and unexpected destruction was Masahiro, who was drinking his new cup of coffee.

"Fugaku-san," said Minato, breaking the eerie silence "Alert all of our shinobi, even the reserves. Isolate the area completely. Evacuate the civilians to the bunkers. All ANBU, storm the building. Uchiha, form a defensive line. Check if Jiraya-sensei is still in the village, try by the bath houses. Call Orochimaru, he's probably inside his lab. Also, search for Kush-"

He stopped for half a second. Almost slipped there.

"..for Uzumaki-san and our other best fighters. Then I want you and the Commander to join me."

"Join you?"

"I'm going in," said the Yondaime Hokage, watching the smoking hole on the face of 'The Building' with narrowed eyes.

**A\N**: Aand cut. So, what do you think? Let me know with a review!  
In the first draft, Gaara was supposed to use the Sand Binding Coffin with the sand who got INSIDE the attacker's pants...but that seemed a little silly, crazy and too OOC. I'm already afraid of writing Gaara OOC as he is already.  
And yes, Orochimaru is still in the village by this point, as I explained at the top of this post. Too bad Tsunade already left, stricken by guilt and grief...otherwise I would have thrown her at them too.  
If you can, go check **Blazekit**'s story, **The Windmill Turns Both Ways**. It's a nice take on the "Naruto time-travel" plot.  
EDIT: fixed the break lines. The flu K.O.'d me and in the haste to publish once the editing was over I didn't notice.


	5. Chapter 5

**A\N: First, I would thank Dorcyy for recommending this crazy story. Thank you, you're awesome and your story rocks. I would also thank all you people who followed, favourited or reviewed.**

**I do not own Naruto. If I did, all the people in the Yamanaka clan would be exclusively psychologists, counselors or psychiatrists instead of working in T&I and running a flower shop. That way, Konoha's inhabitants would have less issues.**

**Beta: PyrothTenka. Without you, this story would be a mess.**

As the dust settled, Naruto gaped in horror at the damage sustained by his already messed up living room.

He reached the wide breach, ignoring the sharingan-users that Sasuke was reducing to a bloody pulp, and saw the green-clad figure of his now very drunken friend run down the street below, now full of debris.

"DAMMIT, LEE! THAT WAS A NEW WALL!" he yelled, cupping his hands to his mouth.

Screaming with a hangover was not a pleasant experience, and he doubted the taijutsu specialist could hear him, especially in his current state, but he needed to shout to someone about the property damage. He'd moved into the new apartment just yesterday!

Behind him, he could hear Sasuke shaking one of the armoured nin who'd attacked them, grabbing him by the collar and asking questions. About their freaky sharingan eyes, about Madara, Orochimaru and someone else.

Naruto didn't really listened too much to the Uchiha's rant because his voice felt like a drill passing through his skull.

He shouldn't have started that drinking contest. Even if he'd won. From what he could remember.

"Sasuke, calm down," said Sakura, putting a hand on her former teammate's shoulder "He's unconscious. Actually, all of them are."

"You don't understand, Sakura! It's my clan's bloodline! Our pride and greatest treasure. Only those of Uchiha blood should have it!"

"Oh, really? Then what about Kakashi?"

"That's..." sputtered Sasuke "That's different! I gave him my formal permission as clan head!"

Naruto was massaging his temples, trying to soothe the pain. He was going to turn back to his _loud_ team mates and tell them to please shut up -didn't they have hangovers too?- when he noticed something strange outside the new scenic window he'd just gained.

"You need a clan to be a clan head, Sasuke," muttered Sakura, who was passing her hand, glowing with healing chakra, over her forehead.

"Guys?" whispered Naruto, squinting his eyes as he inspected the road outside the breach.

_'When did the light become so fucking _bright_?!'_

"It's just a matter of time! I _will_ restore my clan!" protested Sasuke.

"Guys?" repeated Naruto, a little louder.

"Sasuke...please, let's not talk about having kids when I sick." lamented Karin, who was healing herself too.

"GUYS!" screamed Naruto, turning to face them. He immediately regretted that.

_'My poor head...at least I got their attention.'_

"What is it dobe?" asked Sasuke, wincing at the sudden movement of his head. In a stoic, totally-Uchiha way. It seemed that even he was suffering the after-effects of last night's revelry, now that he wasn't beating people up.

He faced the outside view again, pointing with his thumb.

"Don't you think there's something strange about the village?"

After blinking at him for a couple of seconds, Sasuke joined him by the giant hole.

"We are under attack by someone who stole my bloodline and you're worried if there is...something...strange...?" he protested, but the more he looked, the more conviction his words lost.

After a few seconds of pause, he spoke again.

"Some buildings..."

"...are different." concluded Naruto.

* * *

_RunrunrunjumpkickpunchrollsliderollrunrunjumpdodgeparrycounterkickinthefacepunchinthesolarplexusjabinthechinrunrunSTOPdropdownsleepwakeuprollrolldon'tpukedodgekunaidodgedodgedodgedodgePUNCHrunrunpunchjumpgrabapplelandroundhousekickruneatapplejumpDYNAMICENTRYrunrunthroughthewallheadbuttjabpunchpunchpunchfalldowngetupYOUTHFUL!_

This train of thought was running through Lee's altered mind as he raced through Konoha, causing serious damage to ANBU, Police Force, simple nin who were just passing around, private property, some fruit stands and scaring the hell out of the poor bystanders.

* * *

"What is going on?" muttered Sakura. She and Karin had joined the others and were staring out at Konoha's skyline.

"Maybe it's a genjutsu?" suggested Karin, who was busy repairing the damage made by the alcohol to her boyfriend's head.

"Who cares? Let's think about the people who attacked us first. You know, the ones with the stolen sharingan. Then we find the person who gave them my bloodline and I gut him," said said boyfriend who was barely holding back sighs of relief as the pain was fading.

"Or her," added Karin, ending the jutsu.

"Or her," conceded Sasuke.

Another explosion echoed throughout the building. Naruto flinched in pain.

"Oh right, they're _still_ attacking us," said Sasuke.

Seeing Naruto moan in pain, Sakura accosted him, already concentrating her chakra in her hands.

"Here, let me-"

"No, Sakura-chan. Save your chakra," interrupted Naruto, patting his stomach "Old fuzzball here will think about my migraine."

"You mean hangover," smirked Sakura.

"Yeah, that," said Naruto, becoming serious "Karin, you're a sensor. Where are the others? Were they attacked too?"

"Give me a sec," said the redhead, concentrating "The others are fine...but they're smashed too. And not because of the enemies."

"Uh. I'm kinda glad I'm not the only one who's messed up."

"Actually, I think you are the one with the worst hangover among us," responded Karin with a malicious grin.

"Whatever," said Naruto, massaging his temples again -Kurama was taking his sweet time to heal him, that's for sure- "Let's split. Karin and Sakura, you heal our buddies, be sure they're able to fight. Me and Sasuke will think about the attackers."

They nodded, and sped out of the partially ruined apartment.

"And find Shikamaru!" shouted Sasuke, to Naruto's consternation "He's a better strategist than the dobe!"

"Dammit teme, don't scream like that! My poor head..."

* * *

"SHIKAMARU WAKE UP!" screamed a familiar, feminine voice from somewhere just outside the room.

The lazy Nara opened his left eye slowly, stubbornly refusing to open both of them, still clinging to the dubious hope that he could just go back to sleep. At least until the headache disappeared.

"Troublesome woman...let me sleep. We have the whole day free," he murmured.

"SHIKAMARU I'M SERIOUS! GET UP OR I SWEAR-"

The rest of her yell was lost in the uproar of an explosion.

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. Just then he heard the sound of fighting.

"TEMARI!" he called as he jumped from under the sheets.

He quickly searched for his weapon pouch, before remembering he didn't have it.

_'Troublesome Ino and troublesome "No weapons at a party" rules!'_

The fighting was now just outside the room. By the yelling he heard, Temari was still fine but fighting multiple opponents.

He charged the unknown enemies completely ignoring the clothes scattered around the futon.

And that was how Shikamaru Nara went into battle, with only his undies on.

Headache be damned.

* * *

Hinata had never been so embarrassed in all her life. Five men saw her naked!

She couldn't help but feel anxious about what happened.

After she'd knocked them out, blushing red the entire time, she'd just grabbed the bathrobe she had taken with her and left her clothes there, running away to tell the others what had happened.

Then she heard the sound of fighting starting all over the building.

Her training kicked in immediately, but she was still berating herself about going into a panic instead of collecting her belongings.

Too late for that now anyway.

She was advancing carefully, using her byakugan. Her friends were scattered across almost every floor, engaged with the mysterious assailants.

Concentrating, she could easily extend her vision radius outside the apartment complex.

She could see various ANBU teams moving towards the building, which was good.

If ANBU were arriving on the scene, the village was aware of the attack.

Glancing up, she could see Kiba and Akamaru on the floor above her, holding back an entire squad of enemies. She couldn't hear what he was saying but he seemed to enjoying himself.

She could also see Shino, even more stories up, who was...sitting on the floor, massaging his temple. As his bugs swarmed a pair of unfortunate enemies.

The Aburame seemed to not have even noticed them.

Hinata sweat dropped a little at that.

_'Where is Naruto-kun?'_

* * *

"We should split up too, Naruto," said Sasuke.

"What? Why?"

"Because that way we can cover more ground. These," he indicated the unconscious attackers with a motion of his head "are small fries, sharingan or not. We don't need to fight together to win."

"But still..."

"Also, Lee already blew up your living room. Do you want Juugo to demolish the rest of this place when he gets mad?"

* * *

"Please, shinobi-san, refrain from doing that, you have no reason to attack me," said a tall, orange haired young man in a placating tone.

His clothes were bristled and still smoking from the unknown assailant's attack.

"No reason?! You people are attacking our _village_, asshole!" yelled a little hypocrite Uchiha.

"Actually, this is _our_ village. And you attacked us first-" tried to reason the younger man, showing his hands as a sign that he didn't want to fight.

"Great Fireball Jutsu!" shouted the Uchiha policeman after he did the necessary handseals.

The peaceful man brought his arms up to shield his face from the blast.

When the smoke dispersed, he was a little scorched, but otherwise fine.

He was getting angry though. He didn't want to get angry. _Sasuke_ would be disappointed.

That _Yamanaka_ _girl_ would be disappointed. He didn't wanted her inside his head again.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts..._it wasn't working!_

"_Please_," he said, gritting his teeth "I asked you to stop doing that!"

"Dammit! Take this! Fire Dragon Bullet!"

Once again flames erupted from the Uchiha's mouth and surrounded the young man's body.

This time, he sustained quite a bit more damage. His body was covered in burns, especially his arms. His clothes were completely destroyed from the waist up, and some patches of his skin were turning...grey?

At that, the trigger-happy Uchiha stopped, watching his reluctant opponent with a puzzled look.

"I asked you..." said the orange haired man, his voice changing "to...**stop**...**doing**...**THAT!**"

* * *

"Yeah...that would be bad," conceded Naruto.

Sasuke nodded before turning his back on the blond and leaving the living room.

"Next time, I'll bring my sword. No matter what Ino says," called the Uchiha before disappearing down the hallway.

"Does that mean you'll come next time?" asked the blond, not obtaining any answer. Either his friend hadn't heard him, or he'd ignored his question.

Left alone, Naruto cracked his knuckles, eager for a fight.

"Come on, fuzzball heal me up! My head is killing me!"

He waited for a few seconds before realizing that the pain was not subsiding.

"Hey, Kurama, what are you waiting for? I can barely walk straight!"

He waited some more, but for some reason he wasn't receiving response from the Fox.

"Kurama? Hello? ...Are you there?" he asked in a worried tone, poking the place where the seal was located with a finger.

Silence.

_'This...this is not good.'_

* * *

Even if the village was in a state of full-alert, life in one of the various Konoha's hot spings establishments was proceeding as normal.

Both inside and out.

Jiraiya of the Sannin was perched above one of his favourite peeping spots.

It was also one of his more exposed spots but luckily for him, all the women inside the hot spring were civilians.

Civilians never looked up.

All shinobi regulars were somewhere in the village, probably patrolling or on call for whatever emergency that was disturbing this peaceful morning.

Probably that explosion.

It wasn't his problem. Unless Minato called for him, of course.

Hopefully he wouldn't, since the Toad Sannin was observing a pair of magnificent specimens, notepad for his precious research in his hand.

_'Maybe I could write an Icha Icha novel set exclusively in a hot spring...or a spa?'_

He started scribbling on the notepad without even looking at it. This was golden material for his research.

He stopped when he felt a presence behind him.

"What do you want, kid? Scram. I'm busy," he said without even checking who was daring interrupt him.

"Jiraiya-sama. Your presence is required by Yondaime-sama," said a female voice he didn't recognized.

Intrigued by this, Jiraiya turned his head a little, enough to see his interloper but maintaining his object of interest inside the corner of his vision.

It was a young girl with the uniform of the Military Police Force. He had never seen her before, but after all she was a little too young for his tastes.

Her embarrassed expression was amusing, though. Maybe it was because she was stoically embarrassed? Must be an Uchiha thing. Anyway, it was clear she didn't like her assignment.

"Immediately," added the Uchiha girl.

"Is it really that important? I'm in the middle of something here," groaned Jiraiya, tapping the notepad with his brush to make a point.

"I was ordered to remind you that your duty, as a shinobi of Konoha, is to defend the village. And that defending the village is more important that your...smut novels."

Inwardly Jiraiya was laughing at the poor girl's tone. She was trying to maintain her professional demeanour, no matter what. He scribbled something about that for his next novel, it was a good trait to add to the character of the cold, beautiful maiden.

"Also," added the girl "your experience is required to not only contain the enemies, but to examine an unstable seal that was found on the scene as well."

_That_ caught Jiraiya's attention. Seemed a good reason for Minato to call for him.

"An unstable seal, you said?" asked the super-pervert, completely serious.

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama," said the girl, who seemed to smirk a little at his sudden interest "The recon teams found a room-sized, unstable, shifting seal of unknown purpose. Yondaime-sama asks for your assistance on the matter. He has also asked for Uzumaki-san."

Jiraiya sighed. That was indeed a serious matter.

"All right, girl," he said, rising from his peeping position "Lead the-"

He stopped when he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes. Some commotion between his beautiful specimens.

_'What's happen- ...no way. NO WAY! NOT NOW!'_ he thought, his jaw meeting the ground.

"Jiraiya-sama..._please_...we really have to go!" reminded the girl, covering her eyes. She was already moving away from the scene.

With a pathetic whimper, Jiraiya abandoned his peeping post and started to follow the Uchiha, snapping the brush trapped in his grip in barely repressed rage.

_'Real life hot springs girl-on-girl action...and I'm missing it! I'm going to _murder _the one responsible! Whoever he is!'_

* * *

In his empty -with the exception of the unconscious intruders- apartment, Naruto sneezed.

* * *

Hinata was running up the stairway. Her plan was to find the most of her peers she could, thanks to her byakugan, and regroup to form a strategy.

She was almost to the fourth floor, where most of them were, fighting intruders, dealing with their hangovers or both. Even Hinata's head was pounding a little.

She could see all that was happening in the building. It was a little strange because, thanks to her bloodline, she was watching from above the people on the lower levels and from below the ones above her, at the same time.

She could see Sakura, who was healing Choji and Sai, probably reducing the hangover symptoms.

Karin was doing the same to Suigetsu. Before starting an argument about Kami knows what.

Sasuke was descending another stairway, with a strange smirk on his face.

She could also see Shikamaru and Temari holding off a team of intruders, both of them battling the enemy wearing only underwear. The _bottom_ underwear. That sight made her blush a little.

Naruto-kun was standing in the middle of his empty apartment, his eyes gazing at nothing and seemed worried about something.

_'What happened?'_

Kiba, Akamaru and Shino were back together and-

Her eyes widened when she saw two shuriken fly from behind her, directed at her head.

She rolled forward reflexively, hearing the sharp weapons cut the air above her.

_'Who threw those?'_ she thought as she used the roll flip herself up and facing her attacker _'There is no one ther-'_

There was someone. Right behind her, no more than ten meters away, a single ANBU was sticking to the wall, his arm still extended from throwing the weapons.

Hinata couldn't explain the man's presence. The byakugan granted the user a three hundred sixty degrees field of vision. It could see the body's chakra pathways, and even see through solid objects. If focused, the user could extend their sight to great distances. So how was it possible- no wait.

_'Why would an ANBU attack me?'_

His attacker didn't seem to be a normal ANBU, now that Hinata was giving him a closer look.

Under the standard armour, he was wearing a long-sleeved, dull grey suit. No sword could be seen on his figure. His hair was also completely hidden by the mask he wore, that reached his nape and sported the face of a snake.

This was no Konoha ANBU, decided Hinata. After Orochimaru's betrayal, snakes were frowned upon in Konoha, just like foxes after the Kyuubi attack.

"So, you really do have the byakugan," spoke the snake-face just a second before Hinata could. His voice seemed muffled by the integral mask "but you don't have the seal on your forehead."

The not-ANBU lowered his arm slowly and let himself fall to the floor.

At the sudden movement, Hinata stepped back, changing her guard accordingly to the adversary's new posture.

"You have the byakugan. You are in a gentle fist form, or a variant of it. Who are you?" asked the snake-face, rising to a stand.

"I should be asking that!" said firmly Hinata "Who are you? Are you part of the attack on us? And how did you hide from my byakugan?"

The fake ANBU tilted his head before speaking again.

"There are ways around it, of course. What is your name?"

"Hinata Hyuuga," she replied, a little confused.

Why would this strange attacker ask her name? He seemed to be familiar with the Hyuuga. He was even able to conceal his presence from the byakugan! Just _that_ made him a threat to not only Konoha, but to her whole clan! So how could he not know the heiress' name?

The snake-mask paused before talking again.

"There is no Hinata in the Hyuuga clan."

"Wha-" murmured the Hyuuga heiress, before she was interrupted by the snake.

"Enough. You have the bloodline, but we don't know where are you from. You will tell us, no matter what."

After saying that, the fake ANBU shifter his pose, assuming a battle stance that made Hinata's eyes widen even more.

It was a Juken form to counter her own. A very, very advanced one.

* * *

The theory was good. Unprecedented, difficult to demonstrate, sure, but it had valid points.

Bloodline transplant wasn't something unheard of, it was just incredibly rare. Mostly because there were very few bloodlines that could actually be physically transplanted, and if it happened, usually the clan demanded the head of the shinobi -or civilian- who received the transplant.

Funny how usually the person who performed the transplant, or the reason, was rarely mentioned.

He remembered the rabid rage of the Uchiha, when the Yondaime's apprentice obtained his sharingan.

Sakumo's son...Kakashi, was it? Back in the day the "sharingan scandal" had caused quite a political shitstorm. But there had been a war going on, and no time for such ridiculous squabbling.

After the war, Kakashi had been considered a war hero, the sharingan eye was donated spontaneously by the dying Obito, Minato was chosen as the Yondaime -a still sore wound for him- making his student more or less untouchable and, as such, the "bloodline theft" issue was dropped.

Dropped, but not forgotten.

Too bad for the death of young Rin. She had been able to perfectly transplant an Uchiha eye, in the field with little or no equipment at all! He would have loved to talk to her about it. Tsunade probably would have loved to teach such a talented medic. Too bad the Slug Sannin was roaming the lands in her self-imposed exile.

He brushed off those thoughts and got back to work.

Instead of simply transplanting the bloodline, he was more interested in the possibility of infusing a -hopefully- willing subject with it, partially rewriting his -or her- genetic code permanently. Unlike a simple transplant, such change would potentially pass the bloodline to any descendant of the subject.

The potential was enormous. Resurrecting dying bloodlines, either lost or on the brink of extinction was only the tip of the iceberg. There was also the possibility to combine bloodlines in a new bloodline altogether, or modifying an already existing one to make it more stable, or stronger.

He started scribbling some notes about the means necessary for such a-

A buzzing sound interrupted his musings. Someone had pressed the doorbell situated outside of his house-turned-lab. Or was it lab-turned-house? He couldn't remember.

"Anko-chan? The door," he called, before going back to writing.

The test subject would have to be young. More than one, to increase the odds of a successful experiment. Very young, long before their bodies started to develop, to increase the chances for the new genetic material to be accepted. And speaking of genetic material, what bloodline should he concentrate his efforts on?

He started making a short list of the bloodlines he knew about. Which turned out to be not so short after all. But he immediately crossed out the sharingan and the byakugan, both associated with powerful, prominent and _numerous_ clans.

His dabbling with bloodlines was already dangerous as it was without-

The bell buzzed again.

"Anko! Didn't you open the door?!" he yelled, disturbed by this interruption.

The bell started buzzing non-stop. The little shit, whoever it was, was actually keeping the button pressed!

He left his desk, knowing that working on his research like this would be unbearable.

Walking towards the entrance hall, he saw his young apprentice sprawled on a couch, sleeping and snoring theatrically surrounded by leftovers of take-away dango.

He almost found it cute. Almost.

A shinobi should not have slept through the ringing door bell.

He opened the door to find an Uchiha in front of it.

Impossible, did they know of his interest in the bloodlines already? He hadn't even started his work!

"Orochimaru-sama, the Hokage requires your assistance. The village is under attack," stated the Uchiha before he could ask for an explanation.

Great. Just great.

He had to interrupt his work for this.

_'I swear, I will _murder _the one responsible. And then use his corpse in my experiments.'_

* * *

Naruto sneezed again.

_'Great. Not only is my head killing me, and Kurama isn't talking, I've got a cold too.'_

* * *

Kakashi was annoyed. More than annoyed, actually.

If he could choose, he would have chosen to go storming the mysterious building with all the other shinobi. Instead, he was doing patrol duty. He could cope with that.

What he couldn't cope with were his -luckily temporary- teammates. Gai had failed quite quickly at his self-imposed challenge of being less loud, to avoid scaring the civilians, and no matter how strongly he protested, or told him it was unnecessary, the green-clad boy insisted on walking on his hands.

Asuma and Kurenai were still stuck at the same point as always. First, the staring. Then, trying to work up the courage to talk to the other about serious matters, only to chicken out and fail spectacularly, asking stupid questions or talking about idiotic topics instead.

Right now, they were talking about the weather, of all things.

Further down the road, Kakashi could see a squad of genin escorting the civilians to the closest refuge.

Kakashi almost envied them. Dealing with civilians was probably better than dealing with all this emotional crap. And a green lunatic.

"_Team...uh...what's the name of your team again?"_ asked a voice on the radio, on their private channel.

Hearing that, all the team turned serious. Even Gai, still walking withhis arms.

"Kakashi here. We don't have a team designation. If we do, nobody informed us."

_"Alright, uh...Team Kakashi! Masahiro has detected one of the intruders. He just passed through the safety perimeter like it was nothing, and is moving to your position."_

"Understood. From what direction?"

Just as he asked that, he heard the sound of fighting and they could see a cloud of dust rising down the street.

"Never mind. Moving to intercept," he said before he could receive a now superfluous response. He moved.

The now named "Team Kakashi" -meh, what a ridiculous name- prepared for battle as they approached the chaos caused by their enemy.

Guiding his team toward the direction of the enemy, Kakashi grabbed a kunai. Asuma unsheathed his trench knives. Kurenai started doing the hand signs for a genjutsu. She seemed to be quite talented in that field, Kakashi had to recognize. He was glad that the two were able to get their heads in the game.

This single shinobi could be serious trouble if he had been able to pass the security perimeter without issue. They had to take this fight seriously.

Of course, Gai instead was still walking -well, running- on his hands.

"Gai," groaned Kakashi "_please_..."

"Nonsense, my eternal rival! I shall defeat this enemy without touching the terrain with my feet, otherwise I will-"

Kakashi didn't hear what Gai would do if his feet touched the street, because without any warning the wall of one of the houses they were running along collapsed, and with a jump, a figure landed a few meters in front of them, moving like it could barely stand on its feet.

It was...green. Team Kakashi stopped.

It had...a bowl haircut. Kakashi's eye widened.

It -no, he- He was dressed with a green jumpsuit, matching the one worn by Gai. He was also wearing a flak vest, like those used by Konoha forces.

He seemed to not have noticed them yet, and was murmuring something about "unyouthful walls."

_'Kami, there are two of him!'_ was Kakashi's first thought. Of course that was impossible, but he breathed a sigh of relief all the same. The thought of two people like Gai existing was terrible indeed. It seemed that the enemy had tried to infiltrate the village after all.

But his disguise wasn't perfect. For starter the intruder was too tall. His face was also different. And his mannerisms...

He seemed to notice them, wobbling on his place and squinting his eyes.

He darted towards them with unbelievable speed and stopped just in front of Gai.

He was moving like he was drunk. That was another thing that didn't match.

The intruder just stood there, watching Gai for a few moments before lowering his eyes to Gai's eye level. Which was quite low since the boy was balanced on his hands.

The fake Gai didn't seem to notice that Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai had surrounded him, ready to attack.

"Heeeeey, why're ya dressad like 'aaai-senseee?" slurred the intruder. Maybe he really was drunk. Or a really good actor.

Just as Kakashi was ready to move in and stab him and get it over with, Gai shouted.

"YOU! I know your plan! SUCH UNYOUTHFUL BEHAVIOUR!"

That caused the intruder to stumble back, dodging Kakashi's attack and rising on his unsafe feet.

Kakashi swore. Gai's timing couldn't have been any worse than-

"You dressed like me to make everyone believe you're me!" said Gai.

_'Well at least he got that part,' _thought Kakashi, who had shifted back to the formation around the enemy. He gestured to Azuma, to attack him simultaneously-

"AND THEN YOU GOT DRUNK, TO RUIN MY REPUTATION!" yelled the green-clad- er, Konoha's green-clad shinobi, pointing an accusatory finger at the imposter, who actually stumbled back with a confused expression.

Everybody stood still, paralysed in shock. Kakashi didn't know what was more idiotic, Gai's reasoning or the fact that he was standing on a single hand in front of an enemy who looked almost like his long-lost brother.

The intruder _pouted_ at the accusation.

"How dar'ya sayin ya're ma senseee? That'sss unyothfal and unforgiveeeble!" he said, pointing a finger of his own.

At that, Gai flipped back and landed on his feet, his self-imposed challenge completely forgotten.

"Stop imitating me! That's unyouthful!"

"STOP IMITATIN' MA SENSEEE!" yelled the intruder.

"I'm sorry then, but I'm forced to fight you!" said Gai with a resolute tone, assuming the basic form of his fighting style.

_'Well. At least he got the fighting part right,' _thought Kakashi.

* * *

Seeing that the nine-tailed fuzzball was silent for some reason, Naruto decided that he was wasting time just standing there shouting mentally at him. Better check on the invaders.

He could fight with a headache. And a little of nausea. Alright, a lot of nausea, but he had fought with an hole in his torso before! More than once! He could bare this for a little while.

_'If only there was less fucking _noise_!'_

He was leaving the room, when he noticed the still unconscious enemies. He couldn't really leave them here, after all.

Naruto started to search their belongings and took all the weapons and ninja equipment he could, putting a weapon pouch on his short pants.

It was strange. Looking at the enemies, he had a sense of déjà vu. Maybe it was their armor. It reminded him a little of the one Madara had, just lighter and less bulky. Yeah, that was probably the reason.

Then he noticed the symbol on their sleeves. It was an Uchiha fan, in the middle of a shuriken star. He paused. Why would the enemies have the Uchiha symbol on them? They were lucky that Sasuke was too angry about the stolen eyes. Had he noticed the crest, he would have killed them with his bare hands, Naruto was sure of it.

But he was sure to have already seen that symbol somewhere. A memory he couldn't really place, and the headache wasn't helping. Something...something from when he was a child, maybe? Nah, that was impossible-

He dropped that train of thought when he heard the sound of a kunai impacting with the wooden wall a short distance from him.

He jumped up, ready for a fight. Normally he would have expected an enemy attack, but then his eyes fell on the kunai protruding from the wall.

Forgetting that someone just threw the deadly weapon through the hole in the room, he slowly grabbed it, completely mesmerized by it.

It was a three-pronged kunai. Like those used by-

There was a golden flash and he felt a strong hand close on his own, that was tight around the weapon's handle.

He raised his gaze.

Two pairs of blue eyes met and widened, for different reasons.

**A\N: I'm an evil person. Tell me how much you hate me with a review!  
Too bad Tsunade is already drinking and gambling to forget her fiancé and brother's deaths. Otherwise I would have thrown her at the time-travellers, too!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A\N: I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would probably not be a manga, it wouldn't be a famous series and nobody would post stories on this site about it.**

**Beta: PyrothTenka.**

* * *

A gargantuan figure stirred in the dim darkness, slowly waking up.

It was tired, and cold and weak. All things that it hated feeling.

It -he- slowly opened his red eyes, groaning from the aches that ran throughout his whole body.

He blinked at the first thing he noticed when he took a look around his humble abode, the seal placed on his vessel's gut.

It was a bottle. A giant bottle, almost as big as he was without counting his tails.

On the flank of the bottle was a giant label that just said "sake".

Huh. Weird.

He pushed it a little, testing to see if it still had any in it.

No such luck, it was empty. Too bad, he could have used a little booze right then.

Maybe the fact that the bottle was empty explained the headache.

Was this what those meat-sacks called "having a hangover"?

Damn, he was really weak! He already felt his consciousness fading to the need for sleep. He felt like he had spent all his chakra all at once. It would take days, or weeks of rest to come back to full strength.

What happened?

He tried to remember, but the event's before he was knocked out were all confused, mixed together...he remembered a party thrown in his vessel's honour, and...

Oh no.

No no no no no no no no no! As many tails as he had, no!

**"Naruto...what have you done?" **he murmured before falling again into his deep slumber.

* * *

The two blondes just stared at each other, not daring to move.

Minato examined the intruder in front of him. It was probably the _worst_ disguise ever attempted.

For starters, they clearly choose the Hokage, Minato himself.

A well known figure in the village. Not really a smart choice.

Then they got the face all wrong. Sure, it was similar, somehow, but the skin tone was wrong, and also the chin and the cheekbones. And what were those marks on the face?

Also, he was shorter than Minato. That actually offended the Yondaime.

Whoever created the disguise, either didn't have enough information or was very incapable at their job.

Also...his clothes...he looked like he just got out of bed.

And Minato would have _never_ let himself get caught wearing orange boxers.

"Am I still drunk?" asked the badly disguised Fake Minato in a hesitant tone, never looking away from him.

What kind of infiltrator got drunk during a mission?

_'Well, that explains the bags under his bloodshot eyes,' _thought Minato.

Enough with the staring contest.

Minato gripped his not-very-good doppelganger's wrist with his free hand and twisted it. Hard.

The man yelped in surprise and let go of the Yondaime's kunai.

No, boy, not man. He looked so young, maybe ten years younger than Minato.

The kunai fell. Minato grabbed it with a swoop of his left hand. The impostor staggered back, trying to free his trapped hand.

The elder blond made a quick slash with the kunai.

* * *

Naruto lifted his free arm when he saw the blade darting towards him. He diverted the strike, and used the hole in the enemy's guard to punch him in the stomach with all his strength.

His adversary let go of his wrist and jumped back, slashing out with the kunai without really aiming.

Naruto felt pain along his still protruding arm and stepped back himself, hissing from the burning sensation he felt and gripping his forearm where it hurt.

He checked. A rivulet of blood was flowing from a little gash.

His enemy had wounded him with that instinctive attack.

Gritting his teeth, he shifted his attention to the other blond, narrowing his eyes.

* * *

Minato landed a few meters back and noticed how the other blond was bleeding from the arm. It was just a lucky shot, a fast reflexive slash as he jumped back to study his opponent.

The blond boy was now standing still, watching the small bleeding wound on his hand with something akin to a thousand-miles stare. Then he started shaking, much to Minato's confusion.

_'Is he shell-shocked? Some kind of blood trauma, like Tsunade?'_

"How...dare...you?" said the shaking blond, a hard note in his tone.

Minato saw his expression and understood that the boy was not traumatized. He was furious. With him.

_'Great, now I have an _angry _enemy. Why is he so pissed, it's just a bad scratch-'_

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK ME WEARING HIS FACE, IMPOSTER!"

Wait. What?

Before Minato could demand an explanation from boy, the Fake Younger Minato had put his hands in a hand seal and was gathering chakra.

_'Shit! I got careless!'_

There was a great puff of smoke, and Minato found himself surrounded by at least fifty copies of his blond adversary.

Then they rushed him.

* * *

Masahiro was slowly adding the cream to his coffee. He wanted to try a different taste this time.

Mostly because it seemed that the people at HQ had finished all the Aresawa family's sugar.

"The Yondaime has engaged the most powerful enemy. Luckily for us, he's extremely underpowered right now," he said to no one in particular, ignoring the shocked questions he received.

Mmh. Coffee.

* * *

It could only be described as a continuous, frenetic dance of lunges, jabs, parries and spins.

Hinata was barely keeping up. Her enemy was _good_. And experienced with the style.

Which led to the obvious question. How had the fake ANBU learned a taijutsu style taught exclusively amongst her clan?

Also she had been feeling a sense of déjà vu since the start of the fight.

As she side-stepped a jab to her ribcage she understood.

The fake ANBU, this...snake.

He wasn't just using her family's style. He was aiming for her pressure points. And there was only one way he could have been able to do that, even if it should have been impossible.

He had the byakugan.

That was the reason for the sense of déjà vu. It was like fighting against Neji all over again, back in her first chunin exams.

No.

Not like fighting against Neji. It was clear that this enemy wanted to capture her, for some reason.

She had already been captured once, when she was three years old, and that had cost Neji's father, her uncle, his life.

Neji had died to save her, and Naruto-kun. She wouldn't permit this..._traitor_, because she was certain now that her adversary was a traitor to her clan and her village, to render Neji's sacrifice useless!

She shifted her pose and prepared to strike.

"Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms!" she shouted.

* * *

As the battle started to get out of control, a single figure was crouched in a tiny, dark room on the second floor with a detached expression on his face. He had regained consciousness because he had heard a loud commotion, but he was still too drowsy to move, which was a little shameful since he was one of Suna's best shinobi.

But he had passed the late hours of the night, as almost everyone was asleep, drowning his sorrow with sake and quite a lot of chocolate bars he had bribed from Choji in exchange for a monthly supply of a very popular brand of chips produced exclusively in Suna.

Specially flavoured. The Akimichi practically begged him to take the chocolate.

_'It's not fair. Temari did it. _Gaara _did it. Why I can't get laid?!'_ thought the puppet master, searching for more sweets to forget the pain.

No such luck. It seemed he'd eaten them all yesterday, judging by the quantity of waste around him. Well, that explained the stomach ache.

_'I bet it's the makeup! Totally scaring the girls,' _his eyes widened as he realized what he'd' just thought _'AAAAH! It's not makeup! It's war paint! War paint!'_

He was so focused on berating himself mentally for his slip of the tongue -well, mental tongue- that he didn't immediately hear the door opening.

Then, his brain registered the sounds of battle, but it was already too late.

When he tried to jump into a standing position -damn you, chocolate!- he felt something hit his face, hard.

Then he fell down and everything went dark.

* * *

She smirked, letting go of the seal tag she had smashed in the enemy shinobi's face.

When the seal activated itself, he went slack and fell to the junk-littered ground like a sack of potatoes. Hitting his face on the floor.

Ouch. She would have winced, if he wasn't a potential threat to Konoha.

But, why would an enemy sulk all alone in a room full of empty bottles and candy wrappers? Weird guy, this one.

_"Nice work. There is another contact moving to your position right now," _said the Uchiha on the radio. Masamiro or Masahiro, something like that.

"One down, a bunch more to go," she said, leaving the room, "Guide me to him."

_"Her. It's a kunoichi and...she is strong."_

"So am I."

_"Don't get cocky, Uzumaki-san."_

* * *

**"HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING HIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, HUH?! ANSWER ME!"** screamed a slightly out of control Juugo to the man he was keeping pinned to the floor with a firm grip on his throat. Every word he said was followed by a punch to the face of his provoker that he gleefully delivered.

He didn't seem to notice that the offender had fallen unconscious long ago. He was going to finally finish him, when he felt something whack him in the back of his head.

**"WHO-" **

Whatever he was going to ask died in his throat as he came face to face with a pair of fully matured sharingan eyes.

Sasuke was looking at him with an annoyed look that said to knock it off.

Releasing his unconscious opponent, he started to calm down. He could feel his transformation slowly reversing.

"I am sorry," he said, in an apologetic tone "I...lost control. Again."

"Hn," muttered the Last Uchiha as he resumed walking, stepping over the fallen enemy who moaned in pain in his unconsciousness.

* * *

This was ridiculous.

Minato was among the few shinobi able to use the Kage Bushin, because let's face it, it just used so much chakra! But it was so damn useful! Especially for managing the tedious paperwork.

But he almost never used it in combat. Even when he did, he never created more than a couple of clones to distract the enemy.

This kid, instead...he tossed around shadow clones like it was nothing! His entire style seemed to be _based_ on using lots and lots of clones. Almost like it was...the Taju Kage Bushin?! Impossible! That was one of Konoha's greatest and more guarded secrets! How did this impostor obtain it?

Minato and his enemy were at a stalemate of sorts. The elder blond wasn't able to pinpoint the original's position among his sea of clones. He had tried to put a seal for the Hiraishin on him but always got a clone instead.

And thanks to the Yondaime's superior speed, the clones hadn't been able to land a solid hit on him. Yet.

He had to do something or it would just be a matter of time before the Fake Minato used his superior numbers to finish him. Time to turn the odds in his own favour.

He leaped high and landed on the ceiling, pouring chakra into his feet to hang from it. A simple adjustment to the grip on his three pronged kunai, and he threw it at the amassed clones that covered most of the room's floor.

"Shuriken Kage Bushin no Jutsu," said Minato. Well, it was a custom-made kunai instead of a shuriken, technically, but whatever. The technique still worked.

The weapon multiplied mid-air as the jutsu created a swarm of copies of it. They fell on the clones like a rain of sharp, pointed steel.

* * *

His breath was shallow, his whole body hurt and he couldn't move his left arm anymore.

Also, he was sure that his opponent had aimed for non-vital points. Still hurt like a bitch, but if she had aimed to kill him, he would already be dead.

So, this unknown child knew how to use one of the Main House's exclusive techniques? The elders would have an apoplectic fit when they heard about it.

Snake smiled grimly under his mask. It was clear he was losing. This girl was good. She almost reminded him of-

His musings were interrupted when he had to sidestep and parry a not-so-gentle-fist that almost hit him.

But he miscalculated. Instead of hitting his right shoulder, the attack went higher, striking the right part of his mask, shattering it. It fell to the ground in pieces.

* * *

He had sent Juugo to find Karin and Suigetsu on the upper floors. Sasuke kept descending, instead.

He had almost arrived at the ground floor, when the windows beside him were broken by an ANBU team entering the building, dynamically, as Lee would say.

Good. If the ANBU were here, maybe he could focus on searching for the leader of the attack as they managed the lesser threats and-

Why were they pointing their swords at him?

* * *

"I told you to stay away from the sand guy, people. Why don't you listen to me?" lamented Masahiro from his position at HQ. Nobody responded to the radio, of course. The "sand guy" had gotten them and they weren't able to move. For painful reasons, in a few cases.

He was pretty much the only one left in the Aresawa's residence. Fugaku-"sama" had left when the young angry man had screamed nonsense about being the Uchiha clan head muttering something along the lines of "better guiding from the front lines that listen to this crazy stuff".

Just with a lot more swearing, of course. And taking his clansmen with him. Masahiro had remained just because someone had to coordinate their efforts.

The ANBU Commander was nowhere to be seen. Not that it was difficult to for Masahiro follow his movements. Shouldn't ANBU be less obvious about their intentions?

And Shikaku Nara had gone to call for reinforcements from the other clans, along with some messengers. Masahiro was eager to see personally -well, "sense" personally- the legendary Ino-Shika-Cho trio in action. Not that he would admit it. He _was_ an Uchiha, after all.

Speaking of Uchiha...why did one of the intruders feel like one?

* * *

Kakashi ducked, avoiding a green, painful kick aimed at his temple just in the nick of time. The only reason he had been able to keep up was his sharingan.

Reading this enemy's movements was difficult. They were totally unpredictable, and his attacks were very powerful. The battle had created a little plaza in the previously narrow road.

He, Asuma and Gai were hard-pressed even as they attacked from multiple direction with weapons, taijutsu and ninjutsu. Kurenai was trying to trap the enemy's mind in a genjutsu but nothing she could think of seemed to work! It was like his brain was impervious to them or he just plain ignored them!

The only reason they weren't out cold -or worse- yet was because sometimes, when their opponent was on the point of landing a final blow on one of them, he would either lose his balance or stop suddenly before stumbling a few paces away, mumbling nonsense about "Youth".

"Kakashi," said Gai, beside him "I'm going to use _that_."

"What? Gai, you just started to learn that! Your sensei said-"

"I know. But Kakashi," said the green-clad chunin, meeting his eyes "This impostor is even stronger than me in taijutsu. I have no choice."

Gai closed his eyes, before flexing all his muscles.

"FIRST GATE! OPEN!"

* * *

The mask fell to the ground, but Hinata didn't register the sound. She was completely mesmerized by the face in front of her.

It was dirty. It was covered in scratches because of the mask's shards. There was enough stubble to be considered the start of a short beard. The hair was tied back and covered by a bandanna. But she knew that face.

What was going on?

* * *

Snake was sure he would have collapsed at any moment. In addition to the previous injuries, he couldn't feel half of his face and was blinded from that side. The strange byakugan-user attack had hit one of his facial nerves and paralysed everything around it. He wasn't even sure if he could hear from the right ear.

He was pretty sure he would die with the next strike. Instead this "Hinata Hyuuga" froze, apparently shocked by something.

Snake didn't waste the unexpected opportunity. With his only still-functioning arm, he jabbed a pair of pressure points, just enough to knock her out.

He passed through her guard with surprisingly ease, and she fell to the ground with a whimper, unconscious.

When he was sure that she wasn't faking it, he leaned himself against the wall, for support. Slowly, inevitably, he failed and fell on his butt, his back against the wall.

* * *

The last of her adversaries slammed to the wall, breaking through it and sailing across the room he'd just forcefully entered before finally landing and leaving a small crater on the other side of it. He then fell to the ground, knocked out cold.

"Why is ANBU attacking us?" whispered Sakura as she adjusted her gloves. Maybe it wasn't really ANBU? Maybe it was an attempt to confuse Konoha's forces. Approaching under the guise of an ANBU team to lower the defenders' guard, and then attack to quickly dispatch them.

_'Too bad for these impostors they ran into me,'_ she smirked.

She tilted her head when she heard a sound coming from the next hallway.

A figure leaped into the room and threw a salvo of kunai at her.

She easily avoided them, of course, but they were meant to be a distraction.

As soon as she refocused on her attacker, all she could see was a blur of punches, slashes with something red and kicks.

Sakura was keeping up, deflecting the various attacks, but her enemy was always at the edge of her vision, moving around her, attacking her from every possible direction.

Like a whirlpool.

She saw the red enemy's hand shoot toward her face from her peripheral vision. The pinkette grabbed the enemy's wrist firmly, unconsciously registering the paper sheet that was in her enemy's hand.

An explosive tag, perhaps?

Sakura pulled, putting all her strength behind it. Her enemy was sent flying toward the only wall still untouched on her floor. But instead of crashing into it, she-it was clear it was a woman now- landed gracefully on it, parallel to the carpet.

Their gazes locked, and Sakura made a surprised noise.

"You?" whispered the pinkette.

* * *

The room was completely covered in the smoke created by the destruction of the clones. Minato couldn't see anything, even from his position on the ceiling, but he prepared some shuriken just in case-

"You're a real asshole, you know that? You ruined my floor," said a voice behind him.

Minato spun and threw the shuriken, just to hit...another clone, that dispelled immediately.

"Time to end this!" shouted Not-Minato's voice.

Minato turned around once again, and saw his opponent charging toward him running on the ceiling, a clone right behind him that seemed to be charging chakra in some kind of jutsu.

Well, his enemy was right. It was time to finish this.

He started to run towards Fake Minato, preparing his second most famous technique.

When the two finally met at the center of the ceiling, they shouted their attacks' name at the same time.

"RASEN-WHAT?!"

The two rasengan clashed with each other in an explosion of chakra.

* * *

_'The blond intruder knows the _rasengan_?' _thought Masahiro _'Well...that's...interesting. Not amusing, but interesting.'_

Interesting, but worrisome. How was it possible that the intruders knew how to recreate-

_'Wait, what is that?'_

Masahiro was sensing another presence on that floor. Who was that?

He concentrated on the third presence, ignoring for a moment the clashing spinning chakra caused by the blondes that was almost blinding his senses.

It was a clone. Apparently either one of the blond intruder's clones had survived the Yondaime's attack, or he'd created a new one. He was in another room, away from the battle with the Hokage. He seemed to be meditating, sitting perfectly still on the floor and he was...

What...? This energy...

Masahiro's eyes snapped open, completely in shock.

"Holy...shit."

**A\N: I'll be honest with you, I wanted to write a waaaay longer chapter and finish all the battles in a giant, juicy update but...I didn't make it. I literally spent my last creative-juice-per-week amount on this chapter, that kept getting me stuck on scenes that I knew how to write, but not HOW to write (I know, it doesn't make any sense…). Hope you liked this chapter, I'll start working on the next one soon, and now I'm going to bed because it's almost 5:00 AM here and I have my D&D night tomorrow! Today! Whatever!**

Please review and if you have any question...please review or send me a PM!

EDIT: apparently some readers see this chapter's text as bold if they're using a mobile device. I sent a mail to support, asking for some tips about how to fix this. If this happens to you, let me know.


	7. Chapter 7

**A\N: I do not own Naruto. If I did, the alternate world in "Road to Ninja" would not be a genjutsu, but a proper alternate dimension. I'm still convinced it is, Kishimoto or not.**

**A public announcement: **Apparently a lot of readers had a problem when reading the last chapter on a mobile device, as it would show the text as bold. I don't know how to fix this, but I hope to find out the reason soon.

**Sorry for the inconvenience, here's the new chapter!**

**Beta: ****PyrothTenka. If you still haven't read her story, go read it NOW.**

**Also, a special thanks to Blaizekit, Duesal10 and to ****cael05 for the fanart she sent me. Thank you! PyrothTenka is jealous!**

* * *

Fugaku was standing among his clansmen—and clanswomen—of the Konoha Military Police Force. They were deployed all around the building, creating a line of defence impossible to pass.

Well, if you didn't count that guy in green—where had he seen something similar?—but that had happened before he'd arrived and taken charge of it.

Nobody would pass on his watch.

"_Sir! We have a problem!" _he heard Masahiro speak frantically through the earpiece _"The enemy_—_"_

"Just tell me where this 'Uchiha clan head' is, Masahiro," he interrupted coldly.

"_Well, he is almost at the building's entrance, but I think he may _really_ be an Uchiha! Also, the Hokage_—_"_

Fugaku turned off the earpiece. His day was already crazy as it was, he didn't want to listen to ramblings about other Uchiha running around, besides his clansmen.

He was eager for a fight against this unknown fool who dared to pretend to be the leader of Konoha's greatest clan. When he met the might of the Military Police, he was going to wish he'd never set foot in the village. 

* * *

"What a prick," muttered Masahiro, after staring in shock at the now silent radio equipment.

He switched channels. He had to tell _somebody_ that the enemy was, apparently, able to use senjutsu. 

* * *

Sasuke left the building walking slowly out of the main entrance, a fake standard ANBU sword in his hand courtesy of his owner who was lying somewhere inside with three—or was it four?—broken limbs.

These impostors had sure done their work. The equipment really was indistinguishable from the stuff the ANBU operatives used in the field. And off duty. And while training. Well, the gear they always carried.

The street was full of them. Impostors, thieves, who dared to use his bloodline on such a scale. Where had they gotten the eyes? He was sure that his own, and Obito's remaining one in Kakashi's eye socket, were the only sharingan eyes in the world. Maybe Danzo had stolen them after the massacre, and placed them in suspension? Or had Orochimaru found a way to clone the bloodline he had desired so much?

Oh well, it didn't matter.

He would destroy them, humiliate them and terrorize them. Not necessary in that order. And he knew just the right way to do it.

Passing his thumb over the blade's edge, he drew a droplet of blood. Then, after a few seals, he slammed it onto the dusty ground.

"Kuchiyose!" he yelled.

Nothing happened.

Why did nothing happen? 

* * *

Fugaku was not impressed. The enemy was young, very young, and didn't look that strong at all. However, he had to recognize that he at least _looked_ like an Uchiha.

Maybe one of his clansmen had an "accident" during a mission, years ago? He was sure that if that were the case, it would have been a clansman's fault. If an Uchiha woman had had a similar "accident" during a mission, she at least would have known if she'd conceived a baby. And it would have raised by the clan.

The fake didn't seem afraid of the overwhelming numbers he was facing. Instead, he was slamming his hand on the soil, repeatedly.

"What is he doing?" he wondered, not really asking to anyone.

"He seems to be...slamming his hand over and over on the ground, sir."

Fugaku slowly turned to face the clansman who seemed to have a real talent for stating the obvious, hoping to set him on fire if he glared at him hard enough.

"Sir, is our enemy retarded?" asked the Uchiha, unaware of Fugaku's glare.

Fugaku gave the order to attack to put an end to his frustrations. 

* * *

It seemed that neither snakes nor hawks were answering his summons. Why was that?

He had done the blood offering, he'd put in enough chakra to call a boss summon to his side, and he'd done the handsigns correctly.

Then why couldn't he summon anything?

_'Doesn't matter now. Ponder about that after all the fake Uchiha are begging for mercy, captured or dead!'_ he thought as he noticed that they were charging him.

After gathering more chakra, he formed the greatest gift the sharingan had ever produced.

"Susanoo."

The faces of the fake Uchiha as the giant purple chakra construct materialized just in front of them were priceless. Especially because, thanks to his own sharingan, Sasuke could see the image in every small detail, anytime he wanted to.

Yep, it was good to be an Uchiha, but at times like this it was even better. 

* * *

Fugaku froze, like all the Konoha shinobi in the nearby area—which mainly included the Uchiha and the few ANBU that were still around—and could only stare in horror and wonder at the huge, malevolent giant that was towering above them.

He lowered his gaze to the enemy, who was encased by the purple, burning chakra that the giant seemed to be made of.

Fugaku formed some handseals, followed quickly by his fellow clansmen, and various fire jutsu were thrown toward the enemy.

None of them breached the giant's "skin" that protected the enemy.

As the young man inside the giant raised his arm, so did the large figure, whose hand was now carrying a flaming sword.

Even from across the significant distance between them, the Uchiha leader could see that the enemy was smirking.

"Fall back," whispered Fugaku before his voice regained more strength "Fall back! RETREAT!"

The sword finally descended. 

* * *

"THIRD GATE! OPEN!" yelled Gai.

Kakashi and Asuma had to actually take a few steps back when the spandex-loving chunin opened the second stage of the gates.

Gai's skin turned a pale red shade and a green aura seemed to surround his body. Then, he charged the opponent that Kakashi's team had been fighting up till now.

The battle wasn't going well. Gai's lookalike was totally untouchable by any of Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai's attacks. They had tried everything. Hand to hand, weapons, explosive tags, ninja wire. At a certain point, Kakashi and Asuma tried to use Kakashi's chain to trap him, but he just broke free like it was nothing. They couldn't hit him with a jutsu because the enemy's movements were just too unpredictable. And Kurenai was getting more and more frustrated because her favourite way to dispose of her adversaries wasn't working.

Gai seemed to be the only one to actually be able to _punch_ the enemy, and he'd had to open the Second Gate for that.

The two young men were a blur of green. Kicking, dodging, punching and moving.

Kakashi knew that his self-proclaimed "eternal rival" was putting his body under incredible stress. If things continued like this...

No.

Even if they were just temporary teammates, they would not die in front of him. Not again.

He started to charge a Chidori in his hand, and waited for the right moment. Maybe Gai would give him an opening, pressing the enemy like that. The air started to resound with the chirping of his lighting.

After a quick exchange of blows, the Fake Gai and the original were locked in a stalemate as they grabbed their adversary at the same time. One's face was contorted with the effort of controlling the Gate's energy, the other looked strangely relaxed.

_'There!'_

Kakashi ran towards the enemy, the chirping sound now at its climax. He raised the hand surrounded by electricity, took aim...only to have his own wrist grabbed by the enemy in a steel grip.

_'WHAT? He wasn't even looking!'_

The Fake Gai pulled _down_, making the chidori impact the ground and releasing his hold only when the silver-aired boy's hand was already underground. Kakashi's arm penetrated in the dirt up to his elbow. The intruder was ready to attack him, and Kakashi knew he was in a dangerous position where he could barely defend himself.

_'Shit! My arm is stuck! I'm dead!'_

As this thought ran through Kakashi's mind, Gai used the breach in his enemy's guard to uppercut him. This time, the enemy couldn't parry in time.

Fake Gai was sent roaring through the air, and faster than the blink of an eye, Gai joined him mid-air, punching him back to the ground. He didn't stop his attack even after the impact for a few seconds.

Then he staggered back of a few paces, exhausted. He had closed the Gates now, and was paying for it.

As soon as Kakashi was able to finally free his arm—thanks to Kurenai and Asuma's help—he and the other two members of his team ran towards Gai's position. The dust raised by the beating hadn't settled yet.

"Gai! Are you okay?" called Asuma.

"I'm-I'm fine," said the bowl-cut boy, "The Green Beast of Konoha is—"

"Ooooh...my head," said a voice from the middle of the dust "Don't tell me I actually drank something last night?"

The single jonin and both sets of chunin's eyes widened when they heard their enemy's voice.

A figure emerged from the dust, and they prepared to fight once again. They were exhausted, but they wouldn't go down without a fight.

The intruder didn't seem to be hurt by the beating, he just seemed a little dirty, and he was massaging his head, as if he had a simple headache.

What kind of freak was this guy?

Said freak seemed to notice them, but was similarly mesmerized by Gai, who was standing in his trademark taijutsu fighting stance, ready for another battle if necessary.

A few seconds of absolute silence passed.

Then the freak spoke. At high volumes. And doing the classic 'nice guy pose' that Gai loved to do all the time.

"YOSH! YOUNG ONE, YOU ARE EXTREMELY YOUTHFUL! I MUST INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SENSEI! IF I AM NOT ABLE TO INTRODUCE YOU, I SHALL—"

They never knew what he would have done because he stopped talking, his eyes became glassy, his face started to tic and then he fell on his back, foaming at the mouth. His arm still protruded forward in the 'nice guy pose'.

Another completely quiet moment passed.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Asuma, saying the question everybody wanted to ask.

"I think," started Kurenai, unsure "I think that all the genjustu I placed on him during the fight are finally having effect. All at once."

"Huh. What is he seeing, exactly?" questioned Asuma, a little worried about the strange tic and spasms their now incapacitated enemy was having.

"Trust me. You don't want to know." 

* * *

"You?" whispered the pinkette.

Sakura was considered one of Konoha's smartest. Among her peers, she only found a rival in brainpower in Shizune, Shino and Shikamaru—but he didn't count. _Nobody_ was smarter than Shikamaru.

She was also the second student of the Godaime Hokage, and a battle-hardened kunoichi to boot.

None of that helped to suppress the disbelief she felt when she understood who the person in front of her was.

"Oh, you've heard of me?" chirped Kushina Uzumaki, who was still attached to the wall. That position gave a strange feeling to their conversation. Like it couldn't be more absurd.

She had met Naruto's mother on one occasion, but that had happened in an alternate world generated by a genjutsu she and her blond teammate had been trapped in by Obito, when they still hadn't know his real identity. The person in front of her looked much...younger.

Sakura also knew that Kushina Uzumaki had died the day she'd given birth to Naruto. And the woman in front of her didn't look like an Edo Tensei, so that left only one possible conclusion.

Impostor.

"I've...heard of who you're pretending to be," she said, gritting her teeth.

"Pretending?" said the redhead, arching an eyebrow.

"You know, you're lucky to not been have found by a...friend of mine. He would have been utterly _pissed_ if he found out that you were using _that_ face—"

"Huh, this is _my_ face—"

"No it's not! If Kushina Uzumaki were still alive—"

The redhead _leaped_, soaring towards the pink-haired girl and aiming a roundhouse kick at her head. Sakura parried the blow with both arms. For a normal shinobi, such a blow would have at least made them stagger a few feet back, but for Sakura, it didn't budge her strength enhanced stance in the slightest.

Still hurt like getting hit by a sledgehammer.

"I'm very much alive, _dattebane!_" yelled the impersonator, as she landed. She didn't lose any time before attacking Sakura once again.

Oh, it was on.

"SHANNARO!" 

* * *

He was walking through the hallways and stairwells of the empty building.

**'Gaara.'**

The Hogake _would_ refund him for the loss of his hat. It wasn't just the symbol of his office, but also something that had been a part of Suna since it's founding, a piece of his village's history.

**'Gaara.'**

There was also the _personal_ matter of disturbing his and Matsuri's privacy. Sending ANBU to summon him like that...it was just rude.

'**Gaara?'**

Also there was the fact that he couldn't find his pants anywhere. He'd had to use his sand armor to make it look like he was wearing pants.

**'Gaara!'**

Every so often either a solitary ANBU or a team of them would appear in front of him.

No matter how many Tsunade sent to him to stall for time, she would pay. Financially and by apologizing formally.

**'Gaara, I'm talking to you!'**

He just kept walking without even listening to the stuff they were trying to tell him. Probably excuses.

**'Gaara, I know you can hear me!'**

He just pushed them away with his sand, enveloping them and applying just the necessary pressure to the shifting grains to either immobilize them or make them pass out.

Why was this building so difficult to navigate? What was its architect thinking?

**'GAARA!' **thundered the bijuu from inside his seal.

'_What,' _the young Kazekage asked mentally, flatly_ 'is it, Shukaku?'_

**'Look out the window.'**

Gaara stopped on his tracks at that strange request, but complied anyway.

It wasn't like the Ichibi was asking him to murder someone. That was an old phase in their partnership.

He turned towards the window, and he saw it.

'_That is-'_

**'Yes.'**

'_There are only_—

**'Yes!'**

'_But how_—_'_

**'No idea.'**

A moment of silence passed, young man and bijuu watching the Hokage monument that was clearly visible in this bright morning light.

"Naruto," the Godaime Kazekage said finally, sighing. He didn't know what was happening, but he was sure that his blond friend was involved. When something weird was going on, he almost always was.

He turned on his heels and started to move towards Naruto's apartment.

As his sister's boyfriend would say... 

* * *

"Troublesome," muttered Shikamaru.

Temari would have agreed, if she wasn't busy being embarrassed out of her mind and hiding behind her boyfriend.

Shikamaru and Temari had just joined up with the others of Shika's team, plus Sai and Tenten. So they had clearly seen their current predicament.

Choji was looking away, his face redder than her own, if that was even possible.

"Did you lose your clothes during the battle?" asked Sai who was staring instead, with that blank expression of his. That question earned him a verbal lashing from Ino, but Temari was too focused on her desire to just be swallowed by the ground. Too bad she didn't know a justu for that.

"Kunai! Finally!" exclaimed Tenten, who seemed more interested in looting weapons from their collapsed enemies.

"Choji, give me your shirt," said Ino as soon she finished berating Sai for his social awkwardness.

"What? _Why_?" sputtered the tall and big-boned boy. If possible, his face had reached an even deeper crimson shade.

"Just do it!"

The Akimichi gave in, and passed his shirt to Ino, who in turn passed it to Temari, who quickly snatched it from her fellow blond's grasp. Choji's face was so red, it nearly turned his clan markings invisible.

Temari put the shirt on, muttering something in gratitude, and discovered it easily reached her knees. Not exactly fighting attire, but she could stop standing behind her man. As soon as she was decent, Shika seemed to relax a little. The sand girl knew that expression. Shimakaru had started to plan. 

* * *

He woke up slowly, feeling pain all over his body. Why was that? Oh right, the tenketsu points. He sensed the presence of someone kneeling over him. Had his enemy woken up too? Was she going to finish him?

He tried to move, but he couldn't lift his undamaged arm. He couldn't even find the strength to open his eyes.

'_I suppose this is the end, then,'_ thought Snake, resigned to his fate.

But it was not the end. He felt the pain soothing away slowly, subsiding until he felt numb where he had been struck. His mind was also very light, almost floating. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw that the Commander was beside him, using a very basic first-aid jutsu on him.

That explained the dizziness, the Commander had probably healed the point where he'd been struck on the face.

"Hi—"

"No names," the Commander hastily shushed him.

Snake bit his lips at his almost slip-up. Damn light-headiness. He turned to watch the prone figure of his enemy, the unknown byakugan-user. Her hands and feet were tied together behind her back with some ninja wire, courtesy of the commander, he supposed. The ANBU leader followed his gaze.

"How did she reduced you to such a state?"

"She-" a little cough interrupted the infiltrator "-she can use the Sixty-Four Palms."

"She can do_ what?!_" hissed the only masked ANBU in the hallway.

"Yes. Caught me by surprise."

They both looked at the prone, unconscious girl for a long minute.

"The elders are going to have an apoplectic fit when they hear this," said the Commander when he finished applying the first-aid. Snake seemed to laugh a little, but instead it was small cough.

No way a Hyuuga would laugh that way, so it had to be a cough. He was injured, after all.

"You know, she looks like—" started the ANBU leader.

"Yes, she looks almost like _her_." 

* * *

The group of shinobi landed on the rooftop of one of the various houses that surrounded the building. It seemed that since the assault had started, things had gone awry.

If you could call a purple, flaming giant awry.

"Troublesome," muttered Shikaku, who had led reinforcements from the various clans back to the area of operations. With him, in front of the reinforcements, were his teammates Inoichi, the eternal Yamanaka bachelor, and Choza, who was recently named head of his clan. Among the jonin and tokubetsu jonin group he was able to put together there were Tsume and Shibi, the heirs of their respective clans.

"What the hell is that thing?" barked Tsume, crouching beside her companion Kuromaru.

"Whatever it is, we're going to need the big guns to put it down," murmured Inoichi.

"Oh, good. That would be us!" said a loud voice from behind the group.

Everybody turned to face the newcomers, their eyes widening when they saw them.

The former Sandaime, Sarutobi Hiruzen, was standing there in full battle gear. At his sides were his former students still present in the village, Jiraiya and Orochimaru.

And a little behind them there was a young Uchiha girl who seemed to be in awe of being in the presence of three living legends.

But Shikaku could understand that feeling.

"Too bad Tsunade-hime isn't here, eh, sensei?" asked Jiraiya, amused by the shock on everyone's faces.

"Now is not the time for nostalgia, Jiraiya," said Orochimaru, never letting his gaze waver from the chakra construct. He looked like he was trying to discern what jutsu had been used to create something like that.

"Indeed," said Sarutobi "Shikaku, can you fill us in on the situation?" 

* * *

Ayumi was standing a little behind the two Sennin and their former teacher, the previous Hokage.

She was so in awe at being among these powerful shinobi, that she wasn't even listening to what the Nara clan head was saying.

The fact that her brother started screaming in her earpiece a second later didn't help.

"_Ayumi, I know that you're standing literally a step from Jiraiya-sama! Give your radio to him or I swear, I'll tell everyone that you have a stash of all his books under the floor of your bedroom!"_

Fighting to avoid the blush that almost broke through her stoic mask, she quickly complied.

'_Damn Masahiro-nii. I can't believe he's still blackmailing me with _that!_'_

* * *

"-and that is all we know, sir," finished Shukaku.

"I see. Then my students and I will battle that...thing, whatever it is," said the Sandaime, slowly watching the assembled shinobi and ignoring Jiraiya who was talking with the girl who had followed him like a lost puppy "You should concentrate your efforts on either subduing or eliminating the intruders and-"

"MINATO IS FIGHTING A WHAT?" the Sage of Mount Myoboku suddenly shouted. 

* * *

Canary had to scratch his nose.

Of course, he couldn't. Because he was glued on the wall by a two inch layer of thick sand that covered his whole body, save the head. There was also sand under his mask. And in his pants. And it itched. But at least he was alive, right?

His teammates were in a similar situation and they had all ceased to struggle when it had become clear that they wouldn't be able to free themselves on their own.

Unlike his teammates, though, Canary was stuck to the wall upside-down.

He really, really wanted to scratch his nose. And his—

"What happened to you?" asked a voice from outside his field of vision. He wasn't able to move his head.

"Sand guy got us, sir," he heard his squad leader say.

'_Sir?'_

"You're lucky to be alive then, from what Masahiro told me," said the ANBU Commander, when he passed right in front of Canary.

_'The Commander is here?!' _thought Canary. It seemed that the end of his career in ANBU was closer than he expected.

He was carrying an unconscious person over his shoulder, who was wrapped in only a bathrobe. He was also helping a wounded, maskless ANBU stay on his feet.

'_Can you still be an ANBU if you lose your mask?' _mused Canary.

"Flock Team, I require your support to extract this prisoner and take her to a holding facility and to escort S—this ANBU outside the combat zone. He requires medical attention. I'm assuming you won't mind if I free you from your predicament to carry out my orders."  
_  
_

* * *

Fugaku gritted his teeth and dodged another swipe from the flaming sword, allowing a team of his men to escape from the giant's fury.

The rogue ninja was toying with them, he was sure of this. They couldn't hit him with anything they threw at him, and he had shown himself capable of causing incredible amounts of damage. He could have killed a lot of them—perhaps even all of them—without any great effort. But it seemed he was enjoying missing them barely, for some reason.

"THAT'S RIGHT! RUN!" screamed the enemy. Even if he was far away, and encased in whatever that thing shaped as an armored warrior was, Fugaku was able to see his smirk.

The bastard was _enjoying _this! Taunting them, playing with them from behind the barrier that the giant formed all around him-

Fugaku's eye widened in realization. The giant was protecting the enemy, but it wasn't touching the ground where the boy was standing!

Maybe it could work. It wasn't his main affinity. It was actually his weakest affinity, but it was worth a shot.

Fugaku started forming the necessary hand seals. 

* * *

Sasuke blinked when he saw one of the fake Uchiha disappear into the ground, leaving a hole in his place.

Some kind of retreating jutsu, maybe? No matter. He would get him later.

He was enjoying scaring the shit out of them, he had to admit it. After all, they deserved far more than this, those eye-stealers. They had to understand what it meant to desecrate his clan's memory like this.

He would have already killed them, but he didn't want to cause too much collateral damage to the buildings. The Godaime would probably have had him rebuild them personally, as a series of unpaid D-rank missions. One for every house wrecked.

Also destroying half of the village wouldn't help his already soiled reputation. Pardoned or not, he had been an enemy of Konoha for some time. Several people had long memories and never let him forget it.

Sasuke's instincts flared up, sensing an incoming attack from...under him?!  
The ground exploded, and one of those eye-stealers arose from below, thrusting a sword toward his belly. It was the one who'd disappeared! He had not retreated, he had attacked from the weak spot of his Susanoo's defence!

Sasuke moved to the side, and avoided being impaled by the cunning shinobi. His enemy's sword just nicked his left side.

As his attacker completely emerged from the dirt, Sasuke tried to finish him with a single blow of the sword he had acquired before leaving the building. But the man was a skilled swordsman, and after a fast parry that deflected Sasuke's blow, the two of them were quickly exchanging slashes and strokes in the middle of the Last Uchiha's Susanoo.

'_Why does this man seem so familiar?'_

* * *

His enemy was an Uchiha. He was sure of it now. His theory of a bastard born outside of his clan was still valid, since he'd never seen him before.

_Parry. Feint. Slash._

But only an Uchiha could have those eyes. The eyes which existence was a secret even among the clan, with the exception of the clan head and elders.

_Dodge. Spin. Thrust._

Mangekyou.

_Parry. Counterattack. Fireball Jutsu._

The intruder who had attacked his clansmen had the Mangekyou, Kami help them.

_Avoid. Jump. Lunge._

It was clear that Fugaku was being pushed towards the inner walls of the imposing figure that surrounded the two combatants. He didn't know what would happen if he touched them, but he didn't want to discover it first hand.

_Redirect. Duck. Side-step._

Fugaku could feel the chakra boiling and burning a foot from his back. It was an horrible and oppressing sensation, and he knew he had to move from there.

The boy—no, someone who had done what was necessary to obtain the Mangekyou couldn't be considered a _boy_ anymore_—_pressed him further.

_Deflect. Step. Step. Atta—_

His enemy ducked and passed below his guard.

_Shit!_

The sword of Fugaku's enemy ran through his gut.

_Pain._

As Fugaku bit his lips to not giving the bastard the satisfaction of hearing him scream. But even then, a sound similar to the whining of a wounded dog escaped him. His blade fell to the ground.

It was then that he noticed the expression on his enemy, the shinobi who had just killed him, had morphed from one of disdain to one of horror.

Why would he-

"Father?"

Fugaku eyes widened before he lost consciousness. 

* * *

"Fugaku is down," said one of the shinobi assembled on the roof.

There were some stifled gasps among the group, but Orochimaru barely heard the words. He was looking at the imposing figure coated in—no, it was _formed _from chakra—that was being attacked by the Uchiha enraged at the loss of their clan head, with all various kind of jutsu to no avail.

He could feel, _taste _its power.

What he wouldn't do to obtain a jutsu capable of doing that.

What he could do with such a thing at his disposal…inwardly, he was licking his lips.

"We have lost enough time!" snapped the former Sandaime, unwittingly interrupting Orochimaru's dark musings. Since the time he had still been a genin, his sensei's voice had been able to catch his attention immediately.

"Jiraiya, you will go assist the Hokage against this mysterious Sage," continued the Old Monkey "Orochimaru and I will engage the enemy fighting against the Military Police. Shikaku, you and the rest of the group will head inside and subdue or neutralize anyother intruders present in the area."

Everyone nodded without asking questions. As his sensei leaped from the roof, everyone followed, heading towards their objectives.

Orochimaru couldn't remember the last time he, or Jiraiya, had fought in the same combat zone beside their sensei.

A part of him he wouldn't admit existed wanted to smile. It really was a pity that Tsunade was not with them. 

* * *

Sasuke just stood there, frozen in shock, as the body of the man he had just stabbed fell to the ground, his blood on the sword that was still on his grip.

'_It can't be. Among these fake Uchiha, there is even an impostor of my FATHER?'_ he thought, unable to divert his gaze from the prone form at his feet. He was aware of the other enemies just outside his Susanoo, who were using various attacks and jutsu to attempt to bypass the protection of the chakra construct in vain. He was aware of them, but his mind didn't register them any more than that.

But why do such a thing? Fugaku Uchiha had died ten years ago, during the Massacre. Itachi killed him, everybody knew that. Very few were aware of the truth behind the slaughter of the Uchiha clan, even among Sasuke's peers.

Why this charade? Creating a double of Fugaku served no purpose at all. Especially because he didn't look as if he'd aged at all. If possible, he seemed even younger than how Sasuke had remembered him.

Plastic surgery on the man that had received the eyes? Or maybe, if Orochimaru was behind this, it was an actual clone? Why clone only the eyes, after all, when you could clone the whole body?

There was no way he would fall for such trickery! Sasuke could feel his righteous rage coming back, and—

A thundering boom echoed for a moment as Sasuke felt Susanoo stagger from a massive blow it had just received. Sasuke's gaze left the prostrated body at his feet, only to see the face of another dead man.

Just outside the walls of his Susanoo, still in mid-air, was Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime, in full battle gear and holding his legendary staff, the alternate form of the monkey king, Enma.

This was not the same man who had died during the invasion orchestrated by Orochimaru years ago, or his reanimated Edo Tensei. He also looked younger and far stronger that Sasuke could remember from his memories.

'_Impossible,'_ thought Sasuke, as the God of Shinobi landed on the ground in front of him. It was only then that Sasuke noticed the Hokage Mountain behind this new attacker. The Godaime's head was missing from the monument.

'_No,' _thought a disbelieving Sasuke.

A genjutsu. Surely it was a genjutsu. It had to be one. A genjutsu was actually a better explanation than an army of clones.

"Kai!" said Sasuke, making an handseal. Nothing happened, and the fake-Sarutobi outside Susanoo arched one of his greying eyebrows.

"Kai!" he shouted, applying more chakra this time. Once again, nothing changed. Outside Susanoo, the Sarutobi lookalike kept attacking him, only to have the chakra construct intercept his staff with both its hands and keep it in place.

It was a powerful genjutsu if he wasn't able to dispel it with a chakra pulse. But Sasuke was starting to doubt it really was a genjutsu.

He wouldn't doubt that Naruto wouldn't realize about being ensnared in one for a long time. But Sakura and Karin, too? Both of them, without realizing it? Improbable.

For a second, the idea of using Izanami crossed his mind but he quickly eradicated it. He would not destroy one of Itachi's eyes to dispel a genjutsu he was having more and more doubts about actually existing.

Someone else arrived beside the fake Sarutobi−was he really a fake?− and started attacking him, Susanoo protected the young Uchiha, deeply immersed in his reasoning.

This...whatever it was. This could be a genjutsu. Or maybe it wasn't. He couldn't lose one eye if he wasn't certain, and the chakra pulse normally used to dispel illusions didn't work. There was only one alternative, then.

Without hesitation, Sasuke passed his palm on the edge of his sword, cutting deep.

Pain. Sasuke hissed.

It was real pain.

"No," he whispered, falling on his knees. Susanoo received another barrage from outside.

It was real.

The blood of his father mixed with his own.

"Nonono−NOOO!" he cried, embracing his parent's still form. He didn't even realize that his attackers had stopped, confused by his reaction.

It was then that a pained wheeze escaped from Fugaku's lips.

'_He's alive!'_ realized Sasuke _'Thank Kami, he's still alive−what do I do? What do_—_KARIN!'_

He carefully lifted his father's body, hoisting him over his shoulders. As he rose, he finally noticed the other person standing beside Sarutobi. It was Orochimaru, dressed in an almost normal way and with a Konoha forehead protector, the sword of Kusanagi in his hand, who was looking at him with great interest.

Whatever. He had stuff to do now. Deal with this Orochimaru later.

He leaped towards a window of the building, carrying his father with him.

Between the hurry, the shock and the adrenaline still running in his veins, he forgot to deactivate his Susanoo. That hit, and destroyed, an entire side of the building. 

* * *

Shikaku saw the chakra-coated enemy leap towards the building, causing a lot of damage, but didn't stop. He was leading his team towards the structure, and had his orders.

"Choza! Right in front of us, first floor. Open an entrance to us!" he called, without looking back.

He heard his teammate's affirmative grunt as the Akimichi hastened his pace and moved in front of the team's formation.

Choza leaped, greatly increasing his size while in mid-air but keeping the momentum of his jump. As he hit the point indicated by Shikaku, the wall of bricks and concrete was broken like it had been built of cardboard.

Shikaku and Inoichi were right behind their old-time friend when they entered the building. The first thing the Nara saw was a young man with a distinctive hairstyle, who was wearing just a pair of briefs and was attempting to steal the pants off of an unconscious ANBU operative. He didn't seem to be older than eighteen, tops. Beside him were standing a beautiful blond girl and a big-boned—he had stopped using the word "fat" or other synonyms long ago, knowing how that ticked off Choza—young man with a bare chest. They were staring at them, and seemed to be quite shocked by their entrance.

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio charged the intruders. 

* * *

The whole building shook violently without warning, and Kiba had to struggle to maintain his equilibrium for a second. Akamaru whined.

"What the hell was that?!"

"It seems the building we are in sustained some heavy structural damage a few floors below us," stated calmly Shino "Why, you ask? Because−"

"NOT the time, Shino!" barked Kiba.

The Inuzuka knew that, outside of an emergency situation, his friend would have started to sulk at that comment, feeling ignored. But since the village was probably under attack, he knew that Shino would wait until the crisis was over before becoming depressed.

"Who do think could be attacking us? It's not easy, infiltrating ANBU."

Before Shino could give an answer to that, Akamaru started growling, feeling hostiles in their proximity.

The two young shinobi tensed, ready for anything.

Then a small group of Konoha jonin entered the hallway, moving in formation. The two males of Team Eight relaxed and gave a sign of greeting .

Only to be shocked when they were attacked by their "comrades". 

* * *

"Damn, that was a big blow," mumbled Temari, as she, Sai and Tenten passed through the salon of one of the biggest apartments in the building. Besides the one on the top floor, which belonged to Naruto.

Following Shika's plan, they had to locate the sealing scroll where they'd put all their weapons yesterday at the start of the party. Even if they'd followed Ino's stupid 'No Weapons At A Party Rule', that didn't mean they had left their stuff unattended. Paranoia was part of being a shinobi, after all. And now that they were under attack, Temari felt naked without her war fan. Well, more naked that she was already.

There was only one problem.

"Are you sure that this is the way to Naruto's apartment?" asked the Suna kunoichi.

"I don't know! The last thing I remember from yesterday night is Sai dancing on the table, juggling sake bottles and drinking them at the same time!" responded Tenten, who was armed to the teeth. She was carrying almost every weapon they had found on those guys dressed like ANBU who had attacked them, with the exception of a few kunai and a pair of swords that her companions were carrying.

"Did I really do that?" asked Sai, a little astonishment in his voice.

"Yes," responded both of the kunoichi.

"I don't remember it," mumbled Sai.

Oh yes, last night had been a wild party, indeed. They'd trashed the place, in the metaphorical and literal sense.

The ceiling that collapsed right in front of the improvised team with a loud smash and spayed the whole room with a fine dust, was not metaphorical at all. Survival instinct kicked in and the three shinobi jumped back, weapons at the ready.

"Dammit, Canary! What's wrong with your feet, today?!" yelled someone from inside the cloud. 

* * *

"Just exactly how many enemies have infiltrated the village?! It doesn't make sense!" Kiba said loudly as he kicked some fake jonin in the chin.

"True. Such a large quantity of unknown shinobi would never have passed unnoticed. Why? Because an attack like this would require months of preparation and—"

"_Really_ not the time, Shino! Sorry!" Kiba interrupted , dodging a volley of shuriken.

"Nobody pays attention to me," murmured Shino, slightly depressed at being dismissed so quickly by his teammate.

Kiba dodged another kunai, realizing almost too late that it had an explosive tag attached to it. The explosion just singed him, but set the wooden floor behind him on fire.

Now Kiba wasn't pissed anymore. He was furious. Not for the floor, of course. He didn't care for the floor at all. He was furious because since he had awakened—with a bad combination of hangover, nausea and who know what else—he had been attacked, repeatedly, by these sneaky assholes. Time to get serious!

"Let's go, Akamaru! Ready?" he said to his henged partner, who yipped approvingly.

Kiba leaped, starting to spin his body, followed by Akamaru.

"Gatsu—"

"GATSUGA!" interrupted another voice. Kiba was hit before he could start his trademark attack and tumbled to the ground in pain.

As he started to get up and defend himself from this new attacker, he saw a young woman who sported his own clan markings on her face running towards him. Kiba sniffed the air reflexively.

_'Why is her scent the same as mom?'_

That was his last coherent thought before said woman kicked him in the nuts with a chakra-enhanced blow.

"THAT'S FOR COPYING MY CLAN!" she screamed as Kiba emitted a piercing howl and rolled into a fetal position, in pain.  
**  
**

* * *

When Shino heard the shriek behind him, he knew he should check on his teammate but he didn't dare turn his gaze from the fully cloaked figure in front of him, who was dressed in the same manner as the Aburame clan.

Shino amassed his swarm around him, ready to attack. His opponent did the same, with bugs of his own.

Both Shino and his opponent cocked an eyebrow at that. The young Aburame recognized the bugs used by his adversary as kikaichu, a species bred exclusively by his clan and used as allies. There were no jutsu in the Aburame clan that didn't require the use of those bugs. Why did this intruder have them?

If possible, the man in front of him was just as shocked as Shino. Not that they were actually showing it. Shino was also aware that none of the other enemies were attacking him yet, so he risked a peek at his teammate.

Kiba was down, a woman who strongly resembled the Inuzuka clan head, was tying his hands behind his back. Akamaru instead was whining, prostrating on his back and exposing his throat to the giant dog that was growling at him. A gesture that was used among dogs to show submission to the alpha, the leader of the pack.

Curious. Normally Akamaru would have fought to the death to protect his partner.

Focusing again on the other bug-user, he decided to take a calculated gamble. He ordered his swarm to exchange information with the other.

To his surprise, the enemy swarm reciprocated.

Nobody moved for a few minutes, not daring to interrupt this strange scene. Even the rest of the attackers limited themselves to just surrounding Shino.

Finally, the bugs stopped the information exchange and came back to their hosts. And passed them the information that had been gathered.

"Curious," muttered the young Aburame.

"Indeed," responded his opponent.

"There is only one logical action I can undertake, then," said Shino "I surrender." 

* * *

"Let me go! I can fight!" protested Snake, as the Commander laid him down behind the rubble of the former floor−and ceiling− that had collapsed under their feet, while Flock Team engaged a trio of enemies. Beside him, Snake could see their unconscious prisoner.

"No, you cannot," the Commander told him"Stay put and watch the prisoner."

Snake gritted his teeth. He hated being dead weight. The Commander joined the fray.

"They got Hinata! We have to help her!" a feminine voice shouted . Snake activated his byakugan to see how the fight was going.

There were three enemies. A pale boy, who was holding his sword in a style similar to the ANBU standard style. A blond girl dressed in an overflowing shirt with the kanji for "food" on it, armed with a similar blade, but seemed less proficient at it than her teammate. And lastly, a brown-haired girl, literally covered in weapon holsters, who was throwing kunai, shuriken, senbon and _swords_ around. She smiled gleefully as the ANBU barely avoided them. She had plenty of ammunition and was preventing Flock Team from engaging in close combat.

Except for the operative Canary, who was out cold, having hit his head when they landed after the floor caved in.

"Sai!" yelled the same voice as before, and Snake was able to see that it was the blond, "We need reinforcements. Paint something!"

'_Paint?'_ thought Snake. Some kind of tool for a jutsu?

The above mentioned Sai smirked, and one of his hand went to a pouch he carried on his belt.

Snake saw his eyes widen.

"My ink! It's gone!"

"What? Did you store that in the scroll too?" asked the blond girl in disbelief.

"No, Ino said that not even Tenten could use it as a weapon. And I always carry it with—" his speech was interrupted when the two standing members of Flock Team attacked him, hoping to use his distraction to dispose of him. No such luck.

This "Sai" character was very skilled with a blade and seemed to hold off the two ANBU at once with little effort. Snake could tell that it was not the way he was used to fighting, but he was still pretty good.

The Commander was distracting the two girls, coming at them from the side only to fall back when the blond prepared a jutsu, or the girl with the buns started throwing her weaponry at him. He was playing with them.

_'Showoff.'_

Flock Team was pressing the dark haired boy, coming at him from two sides at the same time, only for him to change his position. But he was getting separated from his teammates, creating an opening in their formation.

Snake reached for his kunai holster and unsheathed one of the short weapons. Even if he couldn't move, he could still help.

He waited for his chance, and threw the kunai towards his target. The boy.

The pale young man sensed the incoming kunai, and with a spin and quick slash, deflected the weapon that would have otherwise struck him in the back of his head. Remarkable.

But he had left an opening, and Flock Team quickly put it to good use, tackling him to the ground and subduing him. Or killing him. He didn't care and didn't check. He was more interested in the Commander's fight.

The ANBU leader changed tactics as soon as he saw the other enemy fall. He charged the two kunoichi directly.

The bun-haired one threw so many weapons at him that a normal shinobi, no matter how talented or trained, couldn't possibly have dodged them all. But the ANBU leader was not a normal shinobi.

With his byakugan, Snake saw the Commander release chakra from his tenketsu points and starting a rotatory motion with his feet.

"KAITEN!" he heard.

A dome of spinning chakra was formed by the Commander's movement, creating a rotating shield that deflected the incoming attack.

All the weapons clattered to the floor or embedded themselves into the walls. The girls had to dodge the volley of metal unleashed back at them.

Flock team was quickly on the blond one, who was knocked out when she got distracted by the weapon barrage.

The bun haired one instead stood frozen in shock—probably didn't expect that kind of defense— and was knocked down by the Commander with a single jab of the Gentle Fist.

After securing the new prisoners−all three of them, so the boy was alive−one of Snake's comrades come back to help him, as the other two transported the prisoners, a pair each.

The Commander was looking at him, a frown behind the mask. He was expecting it. After all, Snake knew he had disobeyed a direct order.

"Told you I could still fight," Snake said smugly. 

* * *

"You know babe, if you weren't an enemy, I wouldn't mind engaging you in a _different _kind of brawl. Know what I mean?" Inoichi said winking, after a quick clash with the only female in the room.

Shikaku rolled his eyes inwardly. Sometimes his friend could be really troublesome. It was not a tactic, the Nara knew that the Yamanaka really _was _flirting with an enemy during a fight. The fact that most kunoichi would get enraged and be less focused on the battle around them was an unexpected bonus.

To Shikaku's surprise, the girl didn't get mad because of the Yamanaka bachelor's innuendo. Instead, she seemed both disgusted and horrified. Strange.

Even her companions seemed to be quite disturbed by that, for some reason.

Seeing their adversaries hesitation, Choza charged them with a signature move of the Akimichi clan, the Human Bullet Tank. Shikaku had seen it innumerable times. Choza's body expanded and he started to spin with more force than a tornado, launching itself towards the intruders.

Only to be intercepted and repelled by another similar sphere of similar size. The bare-chested boy was the ball. He was using the Human Bullet Tank. How was that possible?

The two speeding balls collided and bounced around, obliterating everything in their path. Both groups had to jump away to avoid being crushed.

Inoichi started doing the necessary handseals for one of his own family jutsu and aimed it at the blond beauty on the other side of the room. After a few seconds, the blond man stared at his own hands in shock.

"It didn't work?" he whispered. Shukaku barely heard him.

The kunoichi charged Inoichi, screaming like a banshee, taking the older man by surprise and started to pummel him to the ground with a flurry of kicks and punches.

"What are you doing, Inoichi? Possess her!" Shikaku shouted without looking away from his scantily clad adversary, who was gazing at him in a cold, calculating manner that seemed to mirror his own.

"I can't! She's resisting it!" shouted Inoichi, who was still suffering under the girl's assault.

"PIG! PERVERT! SON OF A—" screamed the girl, hitting the man one more time for every insult thrown at him.

"What?!" exclaimed Shikaku, almost breaking eye contact with the only enemy who hadn't moved yet.

"I don't know! Argh! Let me go, crazy bitch!" the Yamanaka responded , as he struggled to defend himself.

Around them, the two spinning human balls kept clashing with each other, defending their comrades from the other one when he moved towards them.

Suddenly, the boy dressed in briefs started forming handseals.

His shadow started to morph and darted towards Shikaku, running over the floor.

'_Impossible!' _thought the jonin as his eyes widened. Instinctively he formed the handseals for the same jutsu the boy had just used, a jutsu exlusive to the members of the Nara clan.

The two tendrils of shadows collided in the middle of the space between them. Shikaku started ignoring the chaos around him. The girl's insults, Inoichi's comebacks and the two human wrecking balls...it didn't mattered anymore. This match was getting all his attention.

An external observer would have thought that it was a very static match, but it was not like that at all. It was like arm wrestling, only with shadows and chakra. And Shikaku was slowly losing, he knew that.

When Shikaku was finally overcome and he was trapped in his enemy shadow's, he cursed himself for being so careless.

'_Who is this boy?'_

When he felt a shadow tendril crawl across his skin and and clutch at his throat, ready to choke him, his blood froze.

'_What a troublesome death. And embarrassing, too. Killed by a jutsu of my own clan.'_

His eyes again met those of the boy that had his life literally in his hands. And his enemy smirked.

"We surrender," he said, dismissing his shadows and freeing Shikaku.

'_WHAT?!'_ thought the Nara.

One of the balls—the big-boned young man—stopped.

"We do?" asked the shirtless, no longer spinning shinobi in confusion.

"Yes, we do."

"Oh, good."

"CREEP! DEVIANT! WEIRDO! MOTHERFU—" screamed the girl, still oblivious to everything besides the poor Inoichi.

Who were these people?! 

* * *

A punch landed on the wall of the bathroom, obliterating a large portion of the nicely crafted blue tiles that decorated it, pulverizing the concrete behind them and opening a wide passage into the nicely illuminated parlor that was located on the other side of it. Sure, like the rest of the apartments there was no furniture yet, with the exception of the toilet and the shower, but Sakura was sure the room in which she had just created an impromptu passage would have been a nice parlor.

'_Damn. Missed her.'_

She and her adversary had fought all throughout the floor they were on and this was probably the third bathroom they had smashed—Sakura preferred the one with pale green tiles, it had had a bigger shower—between the pinkette's blows and the redhead's seals and slashing hair.

'_Seriously, who weaponized_ long hair_ anyway?'_

* * *

As he was running towards the location of his former student, passing on the rooftops, Jiraiya sneezed in the middle of a jump. And almost crashed against the house in front of him. 

* * *

The seal-user's movements were difficult to follow, and she made sure to confound Sakura with changes in the tempo of her attacks and throwing the occasional jutsu in the middle.

Sakura was also at a disadvantage because she had to hold back her punches to avoid to actually having the whole building collapse. Sometimes having a fighting style based on chakra-enhanced strength sucked.

It was also clear that the woman's chakra reserves dwarfed hers greatly. Seriously, this woman spammed almost more chakra-consuming jutsu than Naruto.

'_Could it be…? No, come on Sakura, don't be a fool,' _she reprimanded herself.

It was clear that she couldn't outlast this enemy. Sakura needed just one good hit to end her, but the red woman also only needed to place a single seal on her, in the right spot, to do who-knows-what to her. Hopefully just knock her out, if she was lucky.

She had to create an opportunity to strike.

Sakura feinted to the left, giving a huge opening in her guard to the redhead, who took the bait. She charged the pinkette and sent an axe kick towards her head. Even better than what Sakura had hoped for.

She changed the direction of her attack and turned around, grabbing the fake Kushina's ankle with both her hands before the kick impacted with her.

"Got you, _bitch_!" she snarled, as she started to use her strength to pull her enemy. Never losing her grip on the older woman's leg, she started to toss her around, smashing her against the wall, leaving large cracks on it, and on the floor. One, two, three, four, five six times, obliterating the ceramic tiles.

Sakura heard some bones in her enemy's body break. She was not surprised.

Finally, she let her go after a final spin that sent the redhead sailing towards the breach she'd created earlier in the wall, before tumbling down motionless in the would-be parlor. 

* * *

Fugaku was in pain, practically helpless, but he was a shinobi. He could endure pain. However the sensation of being helpless was humiliating for the Uchiha.

He could feel that he was being dragged somewhere. Had he been rescued? He vaguely remembered Sarutobi attacking the thing that had surrounded him and his enemy. The Old Monkey surely should have been able to break that thing.

Right?

He opened his eyes, realizing that he could barely do so. His wounds were really life-threatening and he felt like he would fall unconscious at any moment, but even so, Fugaku realized that it was the Uchiha who carried the Mangekyou that was carrying him.

'_Great. Just my luck. I have been captured.'_

He tried to struggle but he was barely able to move. Realizing he was awake, the other Uchiha tightened his grip on him.

"Don't worry father, we're almost there," said his captor.

'_Father?'_ thought Fugaku in confusion. He had a vague memory of his enemy muttering the word, after stabbing him.

Even better, this man was crazy or delusional. He couldn't be his father, the carrier of the Mangekyou was too old. Fugaku already had a son, Itachi, and he was barely three years old. He had not lain with a woman who wasn't Mikoto in a long time—since a certain mission before he'd joined the Police Force, but he had been careful to avoid "accidents"—.

His captor didn't look like him at all. He did look a little like Mikoto, strangely.

_'Probably a coincidence,' _thought Fugaku, closing his tired eyes.

Soon he started hearing other sounds, other voices.

"—upid blond skank! What was I thinking, letting her seal away my sword! How do I open this damn thing?!" asked a brash voice.

"It's a standard triple seal, water-brain! Just add a little chakra to the three seals at the same time!" shouted a female voice.

"What? Is it really that simple?" asked 'water-brain', in disbelief.

"Duh! It's to keep weapons away from drunken friends, not to seal them forever or something idiotic like that!"

"Friends my ass! That stupid dog tried to _drink_ me and—"

"Karin!" shouted his carrier "I need help!"

"Sasuke? What happened? Who's that?" asked the feminine voice again. As Fugaku opened his eyes again, he saw a young woman with bright red hair and red eyes staring at him. Behind her, two young men were standing, one with white hair and the other with orange hair. Since the white-haired one was fidgeting with a scroll, Fugaku supposed he was 'water-brain'. He didn't look too bright so the nickname was fitting.

"No time to explain, he's dying! Father, quickly, bite my girlfriend!"

'_What?'_

* * *

The last Uzumaki—at least she thought so, she never had found any other survivors—was sure that at least two of her ribs were cracked. Luckily for her, being an Uzumaki and a jinchuuriki at the same time had its advantages. She could feel the pain to her ribs slowly subsiding. Not exactly instant regeneration but she could manage for a while.

"_Dammit, Uzumaki-san! I _told _you to not get cocky!"_ Masahiro shouted into Kushina's earpiece. Why was he so agitated? It's not like _he _was the one who felt like they were being trashed by Tsunade with extreme prejudice .

Instead of responding to the radio or getting up, Kushina played possum. She could hear her pink-haired enemy—seriously, pink hair? Was that even natural?—walking towards her. Probably to finish her. Kushina kept waiting. She had only one chance, with her injuries.

"_Listen Uzumaki-san. I don't know what you're planning but do it _quickly_. Hokage-sama is fighting a _Sage_. I sent Jiraiya-sama to help him but—"_

Oh, like hell Kushina would wait if her man was in danger.

Completely ignoring whatever else Masahiro was telling her, she shot her chakra chains from her back, aiming blindly in the direction her opponent was coming from, hoping to restrain her long enough to place a nice restraint and gravity seal combo on that big forehead of hers.

She grabbed a pair of seal tags from her equipment pouch as she rolled onto her side to face her target. She was in luck, she had gotten her by the legs. With a single pull of her chakra, the chains dragged the pinkette towards her violently, throwing the girl off balance.

Kushina aimed the seal tags at her head but the girl raised her left arm and they both attached to it under the elbow.

_'Oh well. Good enough,'_ thought Kushina. 

* * *

'_Fuck,'_ thought Sakura as the seal tags latched onto her arm. She immediately realized that she wasn't able to move her limb anymore, it just fell limp at her side, and it felt like it weighted tons. It was like her own arm was dragging her to the ground.

But she could care less about her arm at the moment. She was too occupied with looking in awe at the chain that was entwined around her leg. A chakra chain, like the ones that Karin was able to use.

A peculiar jutsu that could only be used by members of the Uzumaki clan.

_'How come Naruto can't use them if he's an Uzumaki? Maybe only the women can?' _Sakura mused. After all the only other person that was known for having them was Naruto's mother.

Sakura's eyes widened.

"Y-you-you're Ku-Kushi-KUSHINA UZUMAKI-SAN?! BUT THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" freaked out Sakura. Kushina died seventeen years ago, she knew that! And the woman in front of her didn't look like an Edo Tensei.

"Oh sure. Now you recognize me. Why do all my enemies only remember the chains? You would think that my red hair was enough to make me recognizable," said the Uzumaki woman. Was she pouting? Yes she was pouting!

"But this—this can't be happening! Why are you here?" HOW CAN YOU BE ALIVE?! was what Sakura really wanted to ask.

Kushina looked pointedly at the seemingly hysterical teen. "Why are we here? Why wouldn't we attack invaders who just appeared inside the village out of nowhere?"

That was not the answer Sakura expected.

"Look, Kushina-san. I don't know what's happening but this is all a misunderstanding! I'm the Hokage's apprentice and-"

"Say WHAT?!" exploded the redhead, her hair dancing menacingly above her head "Listen here you little pink strumpet, my soon-to-be husband only has one student left, and you're not it! DATTEBANE!" She screamed the last word, already in motion as she charged the stunned pink-haired girl.

"What did you call me?" whispered Sakura, frowning as she gripped the chakra chain with her good arm.

When Kushina was almost on her, she swung the chain with all her strength. Once again, Kushina was sent flying across the room. The chakra chain's grip on Sakura's leg loosened and she scrambled away.

The seals on her left arm were really impeding her movements. Even with her strength, she was forced to stay crouched because of the arm's increased weight.

Her arm was busted and it was getting in her way.

Forming a one-handed seal, Sakura wanted to grin as Kushina's eyes bulged out when the older woman saw the Yin Seal appearing on her forehead and expanding across her face. Too bad she couldn't afford any distractions from this.

Stop the blood flow.

Numb the pain receptors.

Create a chakra scalpel.

"I'm not a strumpet," declared the medic-nin.

With a single, decisive motion of the chakra scalpel, Sakura cut cleanly through the skin, muscle tissue and bone of her left arm just below the elbow.

Her amputated, seal-covered arm tumbled to the wooden floor, which cracked and splintered under the pressure of its augmented weight.

"I am a kunoichi!" she declared proudly.

As she rose, she started to regenerate her limb with the technique passed down to her by the Godaime Hokage. 

* * *

"I am a kunoichi!" declared the pink-haired girl in front of her.

Kushina couldn't believe to her eyes. She had seen the seal that formed on her adversary only once before, on the forehead of one of the Sannin, Tsunade Senju. Who hadn't taught it to anyone, at least not to Kushina's knowledge.

But here it was, on the face of this pink kunoichi she was sure nobody had even heard of. The slug princess was going to have some explaining to do the next time Kushina saw her.

That wasn't all. The limb on floor was staining the tiles with the blood that was flooding from it, but not even a drop was dripping from her stump. Just how good was Pinky's chakra control? To be able to stop her blood flow like that…

'Pinky' rose to her feet, and Kushina was able to see clearly that her missing forearm was _regenerating_. It was like watching a plant grow in fast motion, but with bones, tissues, nerves and skin.

That expanded Yin Seal, her chakra control...her enemy knew the Creation Rebirth. Which meant that she was practically unkillable as long as she had chakra in her body.

Next time she saw Tsunade, Kushina was going to kick her big, old fat ass.

The Uzumaki woman launched herself towards Pinky, instead of waiting for the completion of the process. She was more vulnerable while she was short a limb.

And she knew it. Instead of clashing with Kushina, the pink-haired kunoichi rolled away, escaping the fight to gain more time to complete her regeneration. It was only a matter of seconds now.

More chains sprouted from Kushina's body and launched themselves towards her target, moving like whips. She just kept evading them. There was not much time left.

Kushina sent her chains spiraling around her opponent, trapping her in a circle of chains that was whirling all around her, from the floor to the ceiling. Then she started to tighten them, reducing the circle's radius. The pinkette looked around, searching for a way out. Escape was impossible.

Their eyes met, and Kushina was sure that victory was hers.

Then Pinky smirked.

With her good hand, the Tsunade-wannabe punched the floor she was standing on, breaking it and falling down to the lower floor just as the ring of chains closed in on the place she had been standing.

Kushina gaped.

'_Sneaky little__...__'_

The parquet behind her exploded as Pinky erupted from it. Turning around, Kushina froze in shock.

The younger woman's arm was completely reformed but that was not what had captured the redhead's attention. The markings of her seal were now covering not only her face, but had descended down past her neck and covered the rest of her body.

Kushina had only seen this one time in her life, when Jiraiya had been hiding behind her, crying like a baby, after having pissed off Tsunade more than usual. The Strength of One Hundred.

This failure of an infiltrator was able to fully release the Yin Seal, and use the Strength of One Hundred.

Forget about kicking Tsunade's ass. Kushina was going to strangle that hopeless gambler with her chakra chains.

Kushina didn't see the punch that hit her. But she surely felt it as she roared towards the wall on the other side of the ruined room. Then she felt the impact with the concrete.

For a split of a second, Kushina could feel her consciousness slipping away, but she forced herself to open her eyes.

Pinky was rocketing towards her, readying a punch with her new left arm and screaming a battle cry.

Desperately, Kushina created the greatest number of chains she could conjure up with her chakra, filling the room with pale, glowing metal interlocking rings. The mini-Tsunade was trapped in the middle of it, just a few feet away from her. She was still pushing, shaking and struggling but the chains were too strong, even for her with her strength.

It took a few moments for Kushina to get up. Her whole body was screaming in pain. She had underestimated her adversary and she had paid for it.

Hopefully she would feel better after a few days of healing, jinchuuriki style.

As she finally stood on her feet, Kushina heard a crack. Snapping her head to the direction of the sound, she widened her eyes in awe once again since the beginning of this fight.

Her chains were cracking. Slowly, but surely, the pinkette was freeing herself from the chakra chains that were trapping her, with sheer strength.

Pinky started to scream defiantly as she pulled all the chains she could at once. One of the glowing links broke.

Kushina forgot the pain in a rush of adrenaline and ran towards her still immobilized opponent. Her hand darted into her equipment pouch, taking out of it seal tags, ink and brush.

Time to put an end to this.

Moving, circling and almost dancing around her enemy she started applying seal tags like there was no tomorrow, or even drawing new ones, her chains following her all the time. Pinky could only snarl and try to hit her with limbs too hindered to move properly.

Gravity and paralysis seal combo on arms and legs, to stop her.

Chakra distruptor and suppressor seal combo on her nape, vertebral column and the pelvis, to take her chakra away.

Paralysis and sensory deprivation combo on her forehead, right on the location of the brain, to leave her literally as a vegetable unable to see, hear, smell or feel anything as long as the seal was in place.

When she finished, her adversary lying safely still on the floor, Kushina landed on her butt, and dismissed her chains. This fight had taken more from her than she had expected.

"Damn, girl," she said, talking to her opponent who wasn't in any condition to respond "Who are you?"

The blank expression and the drool that was leaving Pinky's mouth was the only reply she received.

"Maybe I overdid it a little," mumbled Kushina.

She just remained there, sitting in the room that had turned into a war zone, before perking up.

"Ah, shit. MINATO!" 

* * *

In his long career as a shinobi—and Hokage—Hiruzen had seen a lot of strange and bizarre sights. The one in front of him didn't even make it into his personal top twenty. It still baffled him, however.

He and Orochimaru had followed the raven-haired boy that had used that strange chakra construct inside the heavily damaged building after he took Fugaku away. That was something he didn't understand entirely. The enemy had gravely wounded the Uchiha leader, maybe even struck a mortal wound, and his defensive construct was just impervious to any of his and his student's attack. It shook them off like it was nothing.

During the chase, he had suspected that the enemy had wanted to take Fugaku as a hostage. So he was expecting a great resistance, an attempt from the invaders to secure their captive. He wasn't expecting to find four teenagers in a room, arguing among themselves, with an unconscious but otherwise fine Fugaku resting against a wall. How had they healed him so quickly? Maybe one of them had training as a medic-nin, there was no other explanation.

And they were ignoring both him and Orochimaru.

"Why can't I open this stupid scroll?!" shouted the white-haired one.

"Because you're an idiot, that's why! Even a rookie genin would be able to do it!" a red-haired girl who was adjusting her shirt snapped at him .

The other two—the one they'd chased down and a tall youngster with orange hair—finally noticed them but didn't make any move to engage.

The one with the scroll in his hands and the girl kept squabbling for a few moments until they too noted the other two shinobi in the room.

Hiruzen saw how the group sent strange glares towards Orochimaru. Surprise, mixed with curiosity and—

"Hey snake-face! What's the deal with the headband? Since when did you come back to Konoha? And wasn't the old geezer dead?" asked the white-haired one, arching a thin, almost not-existent eyebrow.

All right. That was strange enough. Entered into his top twenty, at the last place. Who could even think about Orochimaru leaving Konoha? Or about his death? He was old, but not _that _old.

Beside him, his student was examining the four youngsters in front of them with a calculative look, but the former Hokage could tell that he was taken aback by that question. Who wouldn't be? Maybe that was the reason, they were trying to confound them.

"Suigetsu," spoke the kidnapper "Shut up."

The black-haired young man made a single step towards them before stopping, an ANBU blade in his hand. Hiruzen readied Enma, still in his staff form, and Orochimaru started to circle the teens to attack them from another direction.

"We surrender," said the enemy in a neutral tone, letting his sword fall to the ground.

Hiruzen wasn't expecting that, but maintained a perfect poker face.

"We do what?" questioned the one called Suigetsu, shock evident in his face.

"I said," repeated the raven-boy "that we surrender, Suigetsu."

The redhead jumped ahead, beside the apparent leader of the group. The two started a short, but intense eye contest.

It was quite obvious for Sarutobi that these two were lovers. Their whole body language had changed when they'd met each other's eyes.

"Alright, I agree. We surrender," the redhead finally conceded. Hiruzen wondered how the relationship between them worked.

"I didn't agree to nothin—" the white-haired Suigetsu started to argue before being silenced by a punch from the only female in the room that made his head explode into...water?!

"LIKE HELL YOU DON'T!" screamed the girl as Suigetsu's missing head started to reform from the water that had been splattered everywhere.

That was going in Hiruzen's top ten. Not something you saw every day. 

* * *

'_Ugh, Hokage-sama, why didn't you take one of our radios before barging into the building? It's not like we don't have spares,'_ thought Masahiro as he switched channels once again to inform another team about the situation. Almost all the intruders had been rendered inoffensive or had surrendered. If they could stop the Sage that was fighting against Hokage-sama and the sand guy, maybe the village would still be standing by noon. 

* * *

Minato grunted, getting up with a backflip.

After the two Rasengan had collided, he and his adversary had been locked for a few minutes in a strange contest. Like arm wrestling, but with a pair of spiraling spheres of chakra, created to tear and grind anything they touched instead of arms.

Minato was surprised to still have all the fingers attached to his hand.

When the two jutsu had reached the breaking point, they'd exploded sending them in opposite directions. And since they'd been attached to the ceiling at the time, they'd also fallen down to the ruined wooden floor.

His lookalike was rising in a less athletic way, slowly.

"All right, you may have copied my jutsu—" started the fake Minato.

"I'm sorry?! _Me_, copying _your _jutsu?" questioned Minato, outraged. He had created the Rasengan, it was his own invention. How could this copycat accuse him of imitating someone?

"Yeah, well, I'm not forgiving you even if you say you're sorry!" mumbled the teen, who looked as offended, if not more, than Minato.

"But if you were able to copy my Rasengan," continued the younger blond, his frown morphing into a full grin "Why don't you try to copy _this_?"

As he said that, Minato saw that his eyes change. They became yellow in color, with bar-like pupils and the area around them was colored orange.

'_Oh, crap.'_

Minato blinked in surprise, and his enemy was immediately in front of him, throwing a punch. The fist didn't connect with Minato, but _something _did, and the Hokage found himself slamming into the wall.

"Not bad, huh? Try to copy it! Good luck without Sage Mode!" boasted his attacker.

'_Rasengan. Sage Mode. Frog Kata. Jiraiya-sensei, if I survive this fight I'm going to have a nice _chat _with you.'_

"Wait, I got it!" shouted the impostor as he created a clone "Why don't you try to copy THIS!"

The younger blond started to form a Rasengan in his hand, with the assistance of his clone. Under Minato's shocked eyes, the spiraling sphere changed form, and four blades of chakra came to life, humming from the sheer power in them.

_'No way,'_ thought Minato, disbelieving what he was seeing _'he completed it? I was never able to do it, and I tried for years...who is this kid?'_

* * *

Naruto raised his arm, letting the Rasenshuriken spin above his head. As soon as the clone he had sent into another room had finished gathering natural energy, he—it?—had dispersed himself, transferring not only his memories to Naruto, but also all the necessary energy for entering Sage Mode.

He let the Rasenshuriken spin even faster, grinning like a maniac. He wasn't actually planning to use it, he just wanted to scare the guy that was posing as his father. But he had to admit, the impostor was doing a great job of it.

How did he know the mechanics of the Rasengan? After all, Naruto had taught it only to Konohamaru and he doubted that his friend part-time apprentice, part-time self proclaimed rival would just teach it to the first person who asked.

'_Well, the one behind the attack was able to recreate the sharingan. Why not recreating a jutsu?' _reasoned Naruto in his head. Still, it pissed him off all the more.

The blond was at the point of intimidating a surrender from the man, when he noticed something that he had ignored during the first seconds since he'd entered the Sage Mode. Among the other advantages of being able to enter such a state, there was also an incredible boost in the ability of sensing chakra signatures.

He could sense all the people in the village. He sensed all his friends in the building, either unconscious or captured, with the exception of Gaara.

_'Sasuke had allowed himself to be captured?'_ thought Naruto, surprised_ 'I'm _so_ going to rub it in his face, later.'_

The chakra signature beside the teme's was strangely familiar, but he couldn't really place it.

Now that he thought about it, even this fake Yondaime and other people inside the building, had a chakra signature similar to one he'd felt in the past. Who were they, though?

_'Stupid hangover. You would think that Sage Mode would fix _that_.' _he moaned to himself.

When he examined the village with his senses, he realized that he couldn't feel Tsunade-baachan's presence. Or Shizune's. Or that of so many people...the only way Naruto wouldn't be able to sense them would be because…

'_No,' _he thought, as his eyes gained a little moisture. He met the man's eyes with a furious glare. Losing them like this, after they'd survived the war...

'_Screw surrender. You killed them all...You're going to pay!'  
_

It was then that he felt it.

The chakra signature of someone who had spent almost three years with him, every day. Teaching him, guiding him and helping him become a better shinobi and a better person.

But that person was dead, wasn't he? Then why was he able to feel his signature?

"Ero...sennin?" he whispered, tilting his head in confusion towards the direction he felt the man's presence.

He was so focused on it, that he forgot to check his surroundings. When something wrapped around his raised arm, he was so surprised that he left Sage Mode and lost control of the Rasenshuriken. 

* * *

When Kushina finally arrived at the floor that Masahiro had told her, she just followed the sound of battle. Arriving there had been a pain—literally—but she was too stubborn.

When she entered the most destroyed room she had ever seen—and she had survived the destruction of her village and a shinobi war—she saw Minato at the mercy of an enemy.

She didn't care about all the details that she would remember later, after the fight. The only thing she noticed was an enemy that was preparing to use an obviously destructive technique on her future husband.

She acted on instinct. She threw a chakra chain around the enemy's raised arm and pulled it away.

Whatever the chakra thing was, it skyrocketed away, tearing through the already damaged wall and part of the ceiling, pulverizing it. Half of the room was now receiving sunlight from a large gap in the roof, and the...whatever it was was still soaring through the air. Just what the hell was that jutsu?

Then the strange projectile exploded above the village.

For a second, Kushina was blinded. 

* * *

Kushina had saved him at the last minute. Minato made a mental note to take her to dinner to a nice place. If they both lived through this.

This enemy was powerful, really powerful. Capture was not an option anymore.

Using the distraction Kushina had provided, Minato threw one of his special kunai at his opponent and teleported to it as it passed above the younger blond's shoulder.

Minato spun in mid-air, aiming for a strike to the neck.

As the blade was about to hit its target, Minato's hand and kunai were covered by a thick layer of sand. 

* * *

'_No way. He showed up,'_ thought Masahiro _'Now we have to deal with both of them.'  
_

* * *

As Naruto wondered what was trapping his arm—it was difficult to see because of the angle his arm was twisted—something blunt hit Naruto's neck, and he cried out in pain.

"Hey, watch it, asshole! You—" he stopped when he saw the sand coating the blade that would have killed him otherwise. Then he saw Gaara standing at the entrance of the room, his sand floating around him defensively.

"I had everything under control," mumbled Naruto, pouting.

"I'm sure you did," responded the expressionless Kazekage. Naruto was actually glad for the last-minute save. He just didn't want to admit it. It was one of those among friends things.

"You free my blond, I'll free yours," said the redhead Suna shinobi to someone Naruto couldn't see, presumably the one that had captured his arm.

Apparently his captor was hesitating because Gaara started to grip his fist, causing the pressure of the sand around the hand of Naruto's attacker to tighten.

Naruto felt whatever had ensnared his arm starting to squeeze it.

The confrontation went on for a few more moments, until both the blonds emitted—almost at the same time—a grunt of pain.

Naruto felt the pressure on his arm stopping. With a quick motion, Gaara sent his sand around him, and moved the fellow jinchuuriki beside him.

It was then that Naruto saw her.

"WHAT?" he screamed "THEY MADE AN IMPOSTOR OF YOU, TOO?!"

"I'M NOT AN IMPOSTOR, STUPID MINATO-WANNABE, DATTEBANE!" his mother's perfect copy shouted . She even had the verbal tic, incredible.

"They're not impostors," Gaara said , without glancing away from the other blond and redhead pair.

"Thank you!" snapped Kushina, pouting.

"What?" asked Naruto, confused.

"They're not impostors, they're real," repeated Gaara, being more specific for Naruto's sake.

Hearing that, Naruto examined their opponents warily. They seemed to be on guard, waiting for their move.

'_Real? What did Gaara mean by _real_?'_

"Huh, Gaara...they don't look like an Edo Tensei at all."

"Because they're _not _an Edo Tensei, Naruto," Gaara stated.

The Minato-copy whispered something to Kushina-copy, who whispered back.

"Gaara. Just tell me what's going on."

"Look to your left," responded his friend.

"I see only a giant hole in my wall. And the ceiling. _And _the roof," grumbled the annoyed blond.

"Not the wall. The Hokage Monument,"Gaara persisted.

'_The Monument? Why should I Iook at the—'_

Naruto blinked.

He closed his eyes.

He opened them again.

He tried to dispel the genjutsu that was clearly placed on him. No such luck.

"There are only—" he whispered in disbelief.

"Yes."

"How is that possible?"

"I hoped you could explain that," said Gaara, meeting Naruto's eyes for the first time since the beginning of the conversation.

"WHY WOULD I—"

Naruto's indignant scream was interrupted when a tall figure darted inside the room, landing between the two pairs of shinobi, that immediately tensed, ready to fight.

As the figure landed, it started a kabuki dance that Naruto knew too well.

"I am the hermit from Mount Myobuku! I am the great Jiraiya, the Toad Sage!" finished the gallant Jiraiya as he assumed his fabulous position, his arm extended in front of him.

Everybody paused. Gaara was shocked, having never been exposed to his danced introduction.

Minato and Kushina seemed relieved at seeing the self-proclaimed super pervert, because now they had the upper hand against the two enemies.

Naruto, instead, had started hyperventilating.

Between the hangover of epic proportions, the fight against his dad's doppelganger, the shock from not sensing baachan and all the people that were missing in the village, his mom's doppleganger, the exaustion that followed the release of Sage Mode, the crazy Hokage Monument that was not a genjutsu and the living, breathing, Ero-sennin in front of him, Naruto had reached his breaking point.

He fainted. 

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**A\N: Well, I hope this chapter was worth the wait, since it was a pain to write! Really. It was. I got stuck on some scenes for hours, sometimes even a day. So, please, review and let me know what you think of every single fight I described.**

**In the next chapter, the plot will move on. **

**Now, what about a nice story recommendation?**

**I would like to recommend to you "Not Sick", of Ser Serendipity. In this story, Itachi was not sick when he fought against Sasuke. Saying more would be a spoiler. It's written beautifully, the characterization hits the spot and it has very long chapters.**

**Now, here's a little omake written for me by my Beta, PyrothTenka, when I was stuck writing a scene. Basically, the Naruto of her story falls in the middle of Kushina and Sakura's fight. (Warning. Sheer crack)**

* * *

Naruto let out a grunt as he fell mysteriously through the random hole that had torn open suddenly at his feet. (Plot device, Mr. Frodo, Plot device!) Where had that come from?

He'd barely had enough time to register the mostly demolished decor of the room before he landed on something remarkably person-like that even let out a grunt of surprise to complete the image. It wasn't until he opened his eyes to find that it was, in fact, a person.

A very familiar, very angry, and very scary person.

"AAAH! Mom! I didn't do it! I swear!"

He had no idea what he was claiming to have not done, but he was sure there was something that needed it.

"What is this? Mom? If this is your idea of a genjutsu, Pinky, it's not gonna work. I have no son, dattebane!"

Naruto gasped, "M-mom?"

"Naruto!"

The blonde looked up at the somewhat familiar voice and stared in shock at the almost adult Sakura standing just a bit aways. "S-Sakura-chan?"

Now he was just confused. Wha-?

"Yer gonna pay for makin' me see the child Minato and I could never have! DIE!" the redhead launched herself at Naruto's kunoichi teammate, ignoring him entirely as she focused on trying to place more seals on the girl.

"Sakura!" Naruto called out, forming his trademark cross seal and summoning some clones. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

He didn't know what was going on, but he wasn't about to let his mom kill his crush. Even if said crush looked old enough to be his babysitter.

All but two of the dozen clones he summoned charged forward. One of those two launched themself at him and wrapped him in a tight hug. "Naruto! Don't listen to that imposter! You are my son and Mommy loves you! She's an evil clone!"

"I thought you were the evil clone?" the other bunshin spoke up with a grin.

"Shut up, Namikaze."

"Mom? But you- She-," Naruto sputtered as he whipped his head back and forth between the clone and the woman attacking Sakura.

The clone pat his head reassuringly. "Don't worry. Mommy will take care of this." It released him and pointed accusingly at the redhead. "Hey! Fake me! You better be ready, because Uzumaki Kushina won't be defeated by some cheap imitation!"

The two kunoichi stopped what they were doing to stare at the Naruto bunshin like it was crazy. The other clone leaned in to stage whisper, "Pssst, Kushina."

"What is it, Minato, I'm busy!"

"You're a boy."

There was a pause while his wife digested that information, then let out a string of profanities that made the Yondaime quickly cover his son's ears.

"Damn it all, Henge!" in a puff of smoke, the child form was replaced by that of a redheaded demon of fury. Any sane person would have fled from such a sight; but fortunately, no shinobi ever claimed to be sane.

The other Kushina was not impressed. "Hah. Cheap imitation? You're a henge'd kage bunshin. Still, you're claiming to be me so... I'm going to have to kill you now."

"Naruto, seal," clone-Kushina barked, and the boy quickly slapped the pre-prepared paper tag on her that enhanced her durability. So she wouldn't burst into a cloud of chakra smoke at the first hit. "Bring it on, poser."

While the two redheads clashed, older Sakura came over to join Naruto and his strange clone. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"Not a clue," the boy replied.

Minato, using his crazy super genius prodigy powers of deduction, replied, "Oh, we're in the past where your crazy older self managed to get drunk at a party and someone made the mistake of leaving ink in his reach and now he and his friends are stuck here and the past is going crazy trying to figure out what's going on."

"What?"

"Eh, it's not important."

The three watched in various degrees of bemusement as the two redheads got into a giant fight with seals and chakra chains that ended with the two of them hopelessly stuck together. Then they all talked it out. Had a party. And ate cake.

The end. 

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**A\N: That would be the end of Py's omake, not of the story! See you in the next chapter! Plese review!**


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